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Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
Massage is all about making you feel comfortable in your own skin, and the 
last thing you want is to have a language barrier make you feel uncomfortable 
before you even begin. Words you don't know can make you feel like an out-
sider, which may have the tragic consequence of keeping you from doing 
what you really want to do when you get a massage — relax and feel better. 
Your goal may be to become one of those knowledgeable clients who enters a 
massage clinic and requests "a bit of cranio-sacral for this headache I've had 
for two days now, and then some Trager in the hip area to loosen my tight 
psoas, and throw in some trigger point work on my traps, will your Or, on 
the other hand, perhaps this massage mumbo
-Jumbo seems completely 
pointless to you, and all you really want to do is lie down and get rubbed. 
Even if you belong to the latter group, knowing at least a few of the terms that 
massage therapists (and those who receive massage) commonly employ is 
helpful. 
This section is a primer on massage lingo to help familiarize you with the 
terms you may run into when you 
 Contact a massage professional to inquire about rates, services, and so on 
 Visit a massage clinic 
 Read journals, magazines, or books in the field 
 Attempt to explain massage to a friend 
 Ask people to recommend a massage therapist or style for you 
Table 5-1 lists several specialized massage words and phrases that at first 
glance seem deceptively like everyday words and phrases. But don't be 
deceived. These words, when used in regards to massage, are highly specific 
and, when used correctly, can lead you to hours and hours of enjoyment, 
health benefits, and pleasure. 
Table 5-1 
Massage-English, English-Massage Dictionary 
Word 
Non-manage definition 
Massage definition 
Rolled 
Past-tense of "to throw up 
Deep massage work on 
on," a variant spelling of 
connective tissues that 
"Ralphed" 
realign the body with 
gravity 
Bodyw...

 
Chapter 5: A Massage Road Map 75 
Word 
Non-massage definition 
Massage definition 
Structural work 
Carpentry, mostly done on 
house frames 
Massage that works on 
the body's muscles and 
connective tissues to 
better align them with 
gravity 
Spa 
Hot tub or Jac urzi 
Health facility where 
people go to learn holistic 
practices, eat healthy 
foods, exercise, and 
receive massages and spa 
treatments 
Ayurveda 
Misspelling of a famous 
brand of natural beauty 
products found in salons 
An ancient healing system 
from India that uses diet 
meditation, herbs, and 
massage to balance the 
body 
Swedish 
Anything from the country 
of Sweden 
The most well-known and 
widely practiced form of 
massage in the Western 
world, consisting of 
stroking, kneading, apply-
ing pressure, stretching, 
and so on 
Trigger point 
The fine, pointed end of a 
pistol's trigger 
A tight, tender spot in a 
muscle that responds well 
to massage 
Connective tissues 
Kleenex brand facial tissues 
all linked together in a box 
The web of tissue 
(primarily collagen fibers) 
that surrounds your every 
muscle, organ, and bone, 
holding your body together 
Deep tissue 
Kleenex stuck deep between 
the cushions on your couch 
A type of massage that 
targets the deeper layers 
of muscle and connective 
tissue 
Energy work 
Repairs on the electrical 
lines of your house 
Type of massage that 
focuses on vital, invisible 
energies in your body 
(continued) 
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Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
Table 5-1 (continued) 
Word 
Non-manage definition 
Massage definition 
Adhesion 
The sticky mark left on your 
skin after removing an 
adhesive bandage 
Muscle and connective 
tissue fibers that are stuck 
together because of 
injuries, scars, aging, and 
lack of movement 
Massage can help sepa-
rate most adhesions, 
which are sometimes 
painful, though not usually 
dangerous. 
Drape 
Decorative material that 
hangs in front of a window 
Towels, sheets, and so on, 
used to cover a person 
receiving a massage 
Knots 
Things tied in ropes 
light bands of muscle 
fibers and connective tis-
sues that massage often 
softens 
On-site massage 
Massage given at 
construction sites 
Seated and clothed 
massage given in special 
chairs — usually in 
offices, in stores, or at spe-
cial events 
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Chapter 5: A Massage Road Map 77 
Bon jour, monsieur masseuse 
You walk into a health club and sign .up for a 
massage. A big, burly, bodybuilder of a man 
walks out, shakes your hand in his massive paw, 
and tells you his name is John. 
"Nice to meet you," you say, slightly awed. 
"How long have you•been a masseuse?" 
"I'm not a masseusel" he thunders, causing you 
to shake in your sneakers. And once, again you 
have that terrible realization that you've flubbed 
up the whole masseur/masseuse thing. 
"Sorry," you stammer, confused and embar-
rassed, but inside you're also a lithe mad. How 
are you supposed to remember the difference 
between those silly French words, and who 
made them.up in the firstplace anyway? 
Strangely enough, it was a Dutch man, Dr. 
Johann Mezger (1839-1909), who decided to 
use French words to describe the movements of 
massage, and even the word "massage" itself. 
The words for someone who performs massage 
therefore come from the French also: 
 A masseur is a male practitioner of 
massage. 
 A masseuse is a female practitioner. 
An easy way for you to remember the correct 
term is to think of monsieur —the French word 
for Mr. - which sounds like masseur. And an 
even easier method is to avoid the 
masseur/masseuse dilemma altogether by 
using the more modem, non-gender-based term 
"massage therapitt" for malet and females 
alike, which.iswhat Most:professionals prefer, 
anyway. 
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Chapter 6 
Look Who's Coming to Touch You 
0 0 0 0 0 • 
0 • 
e OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
In This Chapter 
p. Stalking the elusive referral 
0- Locating a massage therapist 
0. Developing a relationship with your massage therapist 
op. Deciding whether licensing matters 
y
ou're no doubt absolutely convinced that massage would make a truly 
superb addition to your life, and you're Just about ready to pick up that 
phone (yes, that one, right over there), dial one of the contact numbers I'm 
about to give you in this chapter, and order up your very first session of 
"touch take-out? Soon, a chipper and thoroughly professional person will 
show up at your door carrying a monstrous padded folding table. He or she 
will open the table in the privacy of your own comfortable dwelling. You'll 
smile self-confidently, take all your clothes off, and then ... wait a minute! 
Did I say, "Take all your clothes off?" Well, by golly, I guess I did. Suddenly, 
this whole, wonderfully abstract concept of massage has become disconcert-
ingly real. And, in spite of your appreciation for the undeniably therapeutic 
benefits of massage, if that professional stranger were to ring your doorbell 
right this minute, you may be tempted to say, "Excuse me for a moment, will 
you? I just have to go get my law degree at Columbia University and then I'll 
be right with you." 
If that sounds like you, don't worry. This chapter's purpose is to make you 
more comfortable with the people who will be massaging you, including people 
you already know, with whom sharing massage will be a new adventure. 
Stalking the Elusive Referral 
One time-honored concept used to battle your fear of a stranger in your 
home is to assure that the person who shows up on your doorstep to give 
you a massage is not a stranger. You can accomplish this goal in two ways: 
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Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
II
 Give your cousin Billy several thousand dollars and send him through 
massage school so you can call him later and make an appointment. 
 Get a referral. 
The second option is by far the more common choice, but that doesn't mean 
you should entirely dismiss the concept of financing massage school for 
friends or family members. The world needs more massage therapists! If you 
happen to be extremely wealthy, do the world a favor and set up a massage-
school trust fund. (The investment may even be tax deductible.) 
A six-point mental checklist (to go over in your mind 
before deciding which massage therapist to try) 
No matter how qualified and highly recom- 
3. 
mended -a massage therapist may come to you, 
andto matter what Other people say about her, 
you still must decide whether she's the right 
massage therapist for you. Remember, you're 
very likely to share a .great deal.of yourself with 
this person (massage therapists are like hair 
dreSsert on steroids when it comes to the Um-
fiding-in factor). And, -because your massage 
therapitt widget toknow your body better than 
anyone else except an intimate partner, you 
haveto.be willing totrust her.,Sometimes, you 
have no precise way to gauge which massage 
5. 
therapist will make precisely the best "lit with 
your personality, and no amount of analytical 
deliberation will help you decide who to choose. 
That said, try using this quick checklistto judge 
your own gut reaction tothaperson you're about 
to spend a considerable amount of quality the 
with: 
1. Does she immediately make you feel like 
you're important? 
2. Does she look you right in the eye and fill you 
with a sense of utter confidence so that 
you're already feeling better before she 
even touches you? 
4. 
6. 
Is she someone you Dice to emulate as far 
as calmnessand tranquility go? Likeit or not, 
you will.probabhi look upon your massage 
therapist as a role model in the relaxation 
category. A t...

Chapter 6: Look Who's Coming to Touch You 
S 
Of course, you may be more comfortable going to the "neutral ground" of a 
professional massage establishment rather than inviting someone unknown 
into your home. See the section "Visiting a clinic" later in this chapter for 
more information. 
In case you're wondering who to ask for a referral without embarrassing 
yourself, the following list may come in handy. Actually, you may be sur-
prised at how many people can potentially help you find a massage therapist. 
First, you probably should NOT ask certain people to refer a massage thera-
pist, including ... 
 Certain physicians who are not aware of the benefits of massage and 
who may think that all massage therapists are "quacks." 
 Your Aunt Gertrude who had a massage once on a cruise and now con-
siders herself an expert. 
 People who are currently under Indictment for health-care fraud. 
After you cross those sources off your list, you can still find plenty of helpful 
folks ready to steer you towards the nearest pair of helping hands. Some of 
those places where you're most likely to get a good referral from include ... 
 The contact numbers at major massage associations and accrediting 
organizations (see the section "Organizations That Can Help You Find a 
Massage Therapist" later in this chapter). 
 Enlightened physicians who are aware of the benefits of massage and 
who are more than happy to refer you to the ones they work with. In 
fact, many doctors these days have a massage therapist or two on staff. 
 Athlete friends who receive massage as part of their training. 
 A co-worker or family member who's had a particularly good experience 
with the massage therapist she's been using for an extended period of 
time. 
 The "best-or articles that health and beauty magazines such as Shape, 
Self, Mademoiselle, Glamour, and so on often feature. 
 Your friend Tina, the one who wears the Birkenstock sandals all the time 
and has that look of blissed-out sat...

82 
Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
Getting a Helping Hand 
You can collectively refer to the four numbers I'm about to give you as "mas-
sage central." Among them you'll find the contact information for over 80,000 
qualified massage therapists in the U.S. right at your fingertips. 
Drum roll please ... and the contact numbers are: 
 To find a massage therapist who is a member of the oldest nationwide 
organization, the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA), call toll 
free, 888-843-2682, for their Find-A-Massage•Therapist0''> Location Service. 
 To find the nearest member of Associated Bodywork and Massage 
Professionals (ABMP), call 800-458-2267. 
 To find a member massage therapist of the International Massage 
Association (IMA), call 202-387-6555. 
 For a list of massage therapists who have taken the test given by the 
National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork 
(NCBTMB) and are therefore Nationally Certified in all 50 U.S. states, call 
703-610-9015. 
Of course, among those 80,000. massage therapists, you're going to find 
quite a range of skills and offerings, and there isn't one, single tried-and-true 
means of prequalifying someone. However, you are living In an extremely 
lucky time, oh fortunate massage recipient, because in the past several years 
the number of highly skilled and fully trained massage pros has grown at an 
amazing rate all around the world. 
Following is a list of contact numbers for professional massage practitioners 
in several countries: 
 Australia: Massage Australia, Sydney, tel. (02) 4757 3050 
 France: French Federation of Masseurs Kinesitherapeutes (FFMKR), 
Paris, tel. 01 44 83 46 00 
 Italy: Federazione Nazionale dei Collegi dei Massofisioterapisti 
(F.N.C.M.), Rome, tel. 03 94 61 915 499 
 U.K.: The Institute for Complementary Medicine, London, tel. 00 44 171 
237-5165 
Locating a Massage Therapist 
If for some reason you can't locate a massage therapist by simply calling one 
of th...

 
 Chapter 6: Look Who's Coming to Touch You 
83 
Checking the ads 
Each locale has its own regulations regarding the advertising of massage, and 
sometimes the regulations vary from city to city. What may be perfectly legal 
in Los Angeles, for example, can be verboten in Slow( City, Iowa. 
Beware those ads featuring massage therapists with huge muscles, wearing 
black leather vests with no shirt underneath, staring straight into the camera 
with a come-hither look in their eyes, especially in San Francisco. These 
pictures may be a clue tipping you off to the extra curricular intentions of 
this particular massage therapist, licensed or not. Then again, it could be a 
fashion statement. 
Letting your fingers do the walking 
VIN/04, 
In some areas, massage therapists must include an official massage license 
number as part of any Yellow Pages listing for massage. According to Dan 
Ulrich, past president of the Florida State Massage Therapy Association, the 
inclusion of the license number in Yellow Pages and other ads significantly 
reduced the amount of unethical massage advertising. Although the license 
number is not mandatory everywhere, it's a clue that you're dealing with a 
therapeutic professional. If you don't see a license number or some other 
professional credentials listed, call and ask for one. 
Opening the bureau door 
You may occasionally run into ads for massage service bureaus that guaran-
tee you a massage within a specified period of time (usually within a couple 
hours). The bureaus have a central number that you call, and they send one 
of the many independent massage therapists on their list out to you at your 
choice of location. Quite often, these are very up-and-up enterprises run by 
entrepreneurial massage therapists who have discovered a new way to multi-
ply their effectiveness and their income. At times, though, the quality of the 
services offered can be a little iffy, because all the massage therapists aren't 
carefully screened all...

54 
Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
Getting the most massage for your money 
When dealing with your massage therapist, cer-
tain tactics cad increase happiness for both of 
you, and in the process, maximize the value you 
receive from your experience. 
 Offer to pay up front for a discounted series 
of massages: For example, if the massage 
therapist charges $50 for a massage, offer 
$400 dollars for 10 massages. Often, mas-
sagetherapists appreciate the immediate 
cash flow and the guarantee of ongoing 
business. This arrangement is good for their 
business, and good for your pocketbook. 
 Ask for a massage in exchange for refer-
ring a new client to your massage 
therapist She will appreciate the new cus-
tomer, and you deserve the recognition. 
 Inquire about rates for longer massage ses-
sions: Often the price drops proportionally 
with the length of the massage, and you can 
receive a 90- minute massage for not too 
much morethan a 60- minute massage. A 
massage therapist who charges $50 for an 
hour massage may offer an hour and a half 
massage for $65 or $70, for example. 
Going back to school 
Wherever you are, one excellent way to get in touch with a massage practitioner 
is to call a massage school in your area. There are more schools around than 
you think — the U.S. alone has over 800. Look in the phone book, under "voca-
tional schools" or "schools, massage therapy." The schools often have a list of 
graduates in the area that they can recommend, and quite often they offer mas-
sage services in a clinic in the school. 
One excellent deal that many people take advantage of is known as the student 
massage clinic In this setup, the students receive part of their training by 
working on real massage customers, under supervision, of course. Student 
massages go for only fraction of the normal cost, usually only k to 35 the going 
rate of a professional massage in the area. More often than not, the students 
are already quite good at what they do,...

 
Chapter 6: Look Who's Coming to Touch You 55 
Pampering pour Massage Therapist 
After you choose a massage therapist and begin to develop a working rela-
tionship with him, a few endearing personality quirks may begin to surface. 
Some massage therapists work barefoot, even in the winter, for example. 
Others hold a giant quartz crystal over your body before the massage. And 
some tape a bunch of magnets under their massage table to "align your 
energy" while they work on you. Try not to take your massage therapist's 
idiosyncrasies too seriously. They're Just trying to do the best job they can. 
It's just that some of their methods may seem a little, um, colorful at first. 
Refer to rule # 9, "You're the boss," in Chapter 7 for advice on letting your 
massage therapist know what you're comfortable and what you're not 
comfortable with. 
As a general rule, massage therapists are a finicky and extremely sensitive 
lot. They're somewhat like pure-bred cats, and although their job description 
calls for a great deal of touching, they also need to receive strokes them-
selves (often to that most delicate muscle, the ego). If you become an expert 
at scratching behind the ears of your massage therapist's self-image, you can 
coax a better performance from him, and your relationship will be a happier 
one all around. 
The following are some simple points to remember whenever you're dealing 
directly with your massage therapist: 
 Always offer encouragement first before you criticize: For example, if 
your massage therapist is applying a little too much pressure in a partic-
ular area, definitely let her know about it, but first say something like, 
"What you were doing a minute ago felt really great. You can lighten up 
the pressure a little right now, though." 
 Always, always, always praise the massage your therapist just gave you 
immediately after you receive it, even if this is the seven hundred and 
eighty-ninth massage you've received from her: The immediate gr...

56 
Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage 
Licensing Touch 
Being a wise consumer, when you head out looking for a massage pro to rub 
you the right way, you'll want to ask yourself that all-important question: Is 
she licensed? The problem here is that not all good, professional massage 
therapists in all areas are licensed. In the U.S., only half the states even 
require licensing for massage. Some states require no license at all, and in 
others the licensing is county-by-county or city-by-city. So even someone who 
is very highly trained and takes her job very seriously may be license-less, 
through no fault of her own. 
Internationally, licensing rules for massage therapists vary widely from coun-
try to country. Some countries, like Singapore, for example, have little or no 
regulation, while in other countries, like France, massage therapists are part 
of the medical community and operate out of their own medical clinics. The 
best course of action in foreign countries is to ask someone you trust to rec-
ommend massage. Also, you can read through Chapter 17 for some more 
suggestions. 
The rules concerning massage licensing are too complex and changeable to 
list here. They differ from area to area and time to time. In fact, in Santa 
Monica, California, where I first started working as a massage therapist, the 
actual laws on the books stated that nobody could open a massage clinic 
within 500 feet of a church, and in order to receive your city license to prac-
tice, you had to take a test certifying that you were free of all venereal 
diseases. Go figure. 
If you want information about how massage practitioners are licensed in your 
area, you can call the board or department in your state that regulates mas-
sage therapists. If there is no such regulating board, check with a local 
massage school to see what kind of education and certification is normal for 
practitioners in your area. 
The best thing to do when you're trying to determine the professional s...

 
Chapter 6: Look Who's Coming to Touch You 
1
3
 
7 
Original sin? 
Some massage therapists think that requiring 
licensing for massage is almost sinful, because 
they perceive what they do as art. They figure 
that licensing massage is like licensing a painter 
to paint, or a writer to write. Ridiculous! These 
people thoroughly oppose ahy attempts at 
control or regulation. They often live in cabins in 
rugged-individualist states such as Vermont, 
which, as an interesting side-note that has 
absolutely nothing to do with massage, is the 
only state that has managed to keep out 
Wal-Mart stores. 
If a massage therapist has graduated from a bona-fide massage school, he has 
received a certificate of completion, and this certificate often notes the 
number of hours completed, specialties studied, and other relevant informa-
tion. This certification may be the single most substantial piece of evidence 
of a massage therapist's dedication to his craft, especially in those areas 
where licensing is not required. 
Another type of certification is awarded to those massage therapists who 
complete a test given by a certification board, such as the National 
Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork (NCBTMB). This 
certification is another way of determining competency. 
Remember, in massage, just as in a marriage, It's not the actual piece of 
paper, but the level of commitment on the participants' part that is most vital 
to the success of the relationship. A fancy, gold-embossed massage license 
hanging on the wall in a frame is no guarantee that you're going to like a 
given massage therapist's technique. And, on the other hand, someone with 
no certificate or license at all may be one of the most highly sldlled massage 
therapists you'll ever meet. When it comes down to choosing a pro, go with 
your heart and your intuition. 
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Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage 
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Chapter 7 
The Rules for Receiving Massage 
in This Chapter 
0. Following guidelines for receiving a massage 
D Getting in tune and staying In touch 
Fa
om the day you were born, your body has been hanging around you like 
shadow. It never leaves you alone. You wake up in the morning, and 
there your body is, faithful as a puppy, thumping its little tail against your 
freshly washed bedspread. At first, having a body Is a novelty, a fact that you 
can see reflected in the faces of babies and small children. Even the most 
mundane details about their bodies fill them with delight. "Oh boy, there's my 
hand again!" 
As you mature, however, you become more accustomed to having a body, 
and it begins to bore you. This boredom usually occurs as young people 
enter their teenage years. "Oh boy, my hand again, big deal." At this point, 
they begin to pierce their bodies in various locations and cover them with 
decorative tattoos. By the time people are full-fledged adults, though, most of 
them have begun to concentrate on other things, leaving their bodies far 
behind. The only time they really get connected to their bodies is when 
they're learning a new skill of some kind, like soccer, or neurosurgery. 
The result? Most people take their bodies for granted. One of massage's main 
objectives is to get you back "into" your body again. A good massage should 
rekindle your childlike enthusiasm for life. 
In order for massage to help you achieve the lofty goal of getting back in 
touch with yourself, you need to follow certain guidelines, which I Just 
happen to outline in this chapter. At first, some of these "rules" may seem a 
little simplistic to you. Others may appear irrelevant. However, I give you my 
personal guarantee that if you try them out when you're on the receiving end 
of a massage, you're going to get much more out of the experience. 
So, approach these guidelines with an open mind, apply them when you feel 
that doing so is appropriate during your own mass...

90 
Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
The rules for receiving massage are, in fact, quite similar to the Ancient 
Secrets of Life as passed down by Big Important Spiritual Leaders for thou-
sands of years. Yes, it's true; you can learn every really important thing in life 
by lying down and getting rubbed. 
Honing your skills at receiving massage is more than simply a way to feel 
better. It's also a way to improve your life. Read through these rules, practice 
them, and you'll see what I mean. 
Rule #1: Keep Breathing 
When you receive a massage from a professional, she may remind you sev-
eral times in a soft, soothing voice to breathe. And you may be tempted to 
say right back to her in a not-so-soothing voice, "I'm already breathing, in 
case you haven't noticed." 
Don't be offended. The massage therapist's comments aren't meant to imply 
that she thinks you're deceased, and she's not trying to insult you for your 
poor breathing skills. In fact, many massage therapists start each and every 
massage with a series of deep breaths, regardless of how obviously alive you 
are to begin with. 
A massage therapist may tell you to take deep breaths during a massage for 
the following reasons: 
 To help you focus on the sensations you're feeling in your body rather 
than the internal monologue going on in your mind 
 To get you to fill your lungs and thus all your cells with fresh oxygen, 
enlivening your entire body 
 To help you become aware of muscles that you've been holding tense so 
you can start to relax them 
Most people walk around not actually breathing much. People tend to use 
only a tiny percentage of their lung capacity, just like they use only a tiny per-
centage of their brain capacity. Proper breathing changes that. 
While receiving a massage, focus your mind as fully as possible upon the 
very important act of breathing. Focusing your mind on your breath brings 
your awareness back to your body quicker than anything else. 
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Chapter 7: The Rules for Receiving Massage 91 
Going with the diaphragm's flow 
The diaphragm is a muscle in your abdomen — it looks like a soft pizza 
shaped into a double-headed dome — that is responsible for keeping you 
breathing (see Figure 7-1). Most of the time, your diaphragm is contracting 
and relaxing without conscious thought from you, but you can teach yourself 
to control this activity. In the section "Exercising your breathing muscle's 
breath," I give you an exercise that helps you use this muscle more con-
sciously, which enables you to exert more control over your breathing, 
making It fuller and deeper. 
Figure 7-1: 
The 
diaphram 
and other 
elements 
of your 
respiratory 
system. 
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Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
Exercising your breathing muscles 
The next time you have the chance, spend a few minutes observing a sleep-
ing — or at least relaxed — infant or toddler breathe. Pay close attention to 
the abdomen, and you can see the entire area gently lift and lower. This 
movement is the result of an active, uninhibited diaphragm at work. 
Then look down at your own abdomen while you breathe for a few minutes. 
Notice a difference? Where did all the lifting and lowering go? You still have 
the same breathing mechanisms you always did; they're not something you 
grow out of. With each breath you take, you should indeed have a visibly 
rhythmical, moving body. Somewhere along the line, though, most people 
stifle themselves into taking shallow, insufficient breaths. This type of breath-
ing is a common reaction to the act of growing older. Don't worry, you're still 
getting enough oxygen to survive. But, are you getting enough to thrive? By 
practicing deep breathing during massage, you can literally rejuvenate your 
body, sending extra-oxygenated blood out all the way to your toes. 
The key to breathing properly while getting a massage is to take whole 
breaths, a term that basically means "breathing like a kid." Go ahead and try a 
whole breath now. Lie down on your back, placing your palms gently on your 
abdomen, and then begin this four-step process: 
1. Breathe deep and low into your lungs so that your abdomen pushes 
your hands upward. 
Make sure that you're not Just pushing up with your stomach muscles, 
but that you're actually expanding the entire abdominal area. 
2. Continue the expansion up into your ribs, allowing them to push out-
ward toward each side. 
3. When your ribs have expanded out as far as they'll go, then expand 
them up toward your head, taking the last bit of breath into the area 
just beneath your collar bones. 
4. Let the whole thing collapse. 
You don't need to try and push the air out; Just let it flow. W...

Chapter 7: The Rules for Receiving Massage 93 
Please release me, let me go ... 
Afteryou receive several massages, you'll grad-
ually become accustomed to relaxing your own 
muscles. Eventually you notice that you can do 
the same thing even when you're not receiving 
massage, like when you're waiting in line at the 
grocery store, stuck in traffic, or sitting in a 
meeting with your boss. "Twang," will go one of 
your muscle fibers, and you'll feel it beginning 
to tighten up. Then, silently, without anyone 
noticing, you send a mental message to the 
growing knot, telling it to go away, in the same 
way that your massage therapist helps you do 
during a massage. You can take this side bene-
fit of massage with you wherever you go. 
Expecting a massage therapist to do all your body's relaxing is called giving 
up responsibility for your own relaxation, and it's a no-no. Staying loose is your 
responsibility; the massage therapist can help you, but you basically have to 
do the relaxing yourself. So how do you do that? 
You accomplish relaxation by becoming more aware of what you're feeling in 
your own body. During the massage, your massage therapist often reminds 
you to focus on "knots" or tight areas. In those moments, using the power of 
your own imagination, you can begin to visualize what those knots may look 
like in your muscles, and to let go of them. 
If you're not staying loose by engaging your mind to relax your own muscles, 
you're missing more than half the benefits and effects of the massage. 
Rule #3: Let Go 
When you receive a massage, especially the first time, you may have a ten-
dency — like just about everyone else in the world — to "help" the person 
working on you. You may graciously lift your limbs, hold your head up, and 
twist your body around, all to make things easier for the other person. 
Although this "helping" may seem like the friendliest thing to do, you're actu-
ally hindering the massage process and making your massage therapist...

94 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
The limp-arm experiment 
You're basically hanging onto yourself for dear 
life, even the parts of your body that are painful, 
stiff, or tense. This•hanging on is a.naturalten-
dency, butto get the most out of a massage, you 
haveto let go. The limp-arm experiment" is an 
easy way to begin training yourself to letgo. Ail 
you need.is-a partner and someplace comfort-
able to lie down. 
1. Lie down on your back and have your part-
ner lift your arm up in the air several 
inches. 
2. After a few seconds, have your partner let 
. go of your arm without any warning to you. 
let your arm drop back down. (Make-sure 
that-you're lying on a-soft-surface.) 
3. Watch to see whether your amt plops back 
down, limp as a noodle, or whether you 
hold. it right where she left it, stiff as a 
board. 
What do you have to do to let your arm drop 
back down? What thought process do you 
have to go through? What mental image? 
What body sensation? 
4. Tell your partner to lift your arm a little 
higher each time. 
Instead of dropping your arm all the way 
back down, tell her to catch it in her other 
hand. 
5. Keep repeating this exercise until your arm 
completely lets go end your partner can 
drop.it from any height with absolutely no 
resistance. 
This.ability may come naturally to you the 
very first time you try to let go, but normally 
• the exercise takes-quite a bit of conscious 
effort. You Maynot be able to let go until you 
niake several Separate attempts on differ-
ent days. After you master one arm, you can 
try the other arm, a leg, or your head. 
Use this newly formed'skill to let go the next time 
you receive-a massage. 
If you were to take a microscope and look deep within your muscles and 
joints while you're getting a massage, you'd discover some specialized nerve 
cells that monitor the position and relative movement of your body. These 
cells are called proprioceptors (see Chapter 4). 
These cells constantly tell you where ...

 
Chapter 7: The Rules for Receiving Massage 95 
One of my clients suffered for years from debilitating pain due to whiplash. 
Then one day she received a massage from a woman at Gurney's Inn, a spa in 
Montauk, New York. After that massage, the pain was almost entirely gone, 
and it continued to gradually fade away. My client was able to make such a 
drastic change by letting herself go fully into the healing hands of the mas-
sage therapist. When she did, she stopped holding onto the same painful, 
habitual patterns that had formed in her body since the accident. 
Rule #4: Stop Thinking, Start Being 
The problem with your mind is that it just works too darn well, thinking and 
thinking and thinking without stopping all day long from the first moment 
you wake up until well after your head hits the pillow. This feature is fine 
during most of your daily activities, but when It comes to getting a massage, 
too much thinking is definitelya drawback. 
Many people get a massage and then ten minutes later can barely remember 
it because they weren't really paying attention to it while it was happening. 
Instead, an ongoing stream of thoughts kept them from fully experiencing the 
massage. 
When you're getting a massage, don't think about what you should have done 
the day before or what you plan to do an hour later. A massage is time to Be 
Here Now. The sensations you're feeling offer a great opportunity to quiet 
your mind, focus, and think of nothing else for a little while. In this way, every 
massage is a potential meditation. Don't get me wrong: relaxing and joking 
around during a massage is perfectly okay, too, but most people, at least 
once in a while, can benefit from a massage meditation. (See the sidebar, "A 
massage meditation," later in this chapter.) 
Rate #5: No Pain, No Gain? No Way! 
You may have heard of the massage-masochists who don't believe they're 
receiving a real massage unless they have to grit their teeth to keep from 
screaming through the ...

96 
Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
A massage meditation 
Meditation, in a nutshell, is the act of focusing 
4. 
your entire attention on just one thing,thus stop-
ping the constant chatter inside your head and 
experiencing a state of timelessness, content-
ment, and wholeness. People achieve this state 
in many ways — through sports, or silence, or 
prayer, for example — and massage is yet 
another activity that you can use to effectively 
shut out the rest of the world and tune into your 
5. 
own inner peace. The next time you receive a 
massage, try this meditation ... 
1. Close your eyes and begin to get in touch 
with.your breath, as I describe in the sec-
tion "Rule RI: Keep Breathing." 
Before you receive the first touch of the 
massage, spend several minutes trying to 
clear your mind of any other thoughts. 
Concentrateonly on your breathing. 
2. When your manage therapist first makes 
contact, imagine yourself breathing in 
through that very spot 
For example, if she starts by massaging your 
neck, imagine a stream of fresh oxygen and 
energy entering through your neck, exactly 
where her fingers are. 
3. On the exhalation, imagine your muscles in 
that same area becoming softer, warmer, 
and looser. 
Continue with this awareness — breathing 
relaxation into each successive point that 
the massage therapist is touching. 
Eventually, you become aware that the mas-
sage therapist is tuning in to your breath as 
well, and the massage becomes a shared 
meditation. 
Communicate with your massage therapist 
both verbally and nonverbally. Together, 
you-can create a special massage mood 
that will help you focus on your experi-
ence, making the massage more like a 
meditation (see Chapter 9). 
6. Keep bringing your mind back to the 
massage. 
You may realize, at various points during the 
massage, that your mind has wandered off 
on tome train of thought. This is completely 
natural and happens even to advanced 
meditation practitioners. Simplytring your ...

 
Chapter 7: The Rules for Receiving Massage 97 
Rule #6: Listen to pour Emotions 
Don't be surprised if during a massage one day you suddenly, for no reason 
at all, feel like crying your eyes out, or laughing hysterically. Massage some-
times has that effect on people. Some of the reasons for this emotional 
response include: 
 Certain emotional memories — usually the result of powerful experi-
ences — can resurface when your body is massaged. 
 No one has touched you with care, compassion, and gentleness for a 
very long time. In that case, the experience suddenly overwhelms you 
with gratitude, bringing forth tears. 
 You're a very ticklish person. 
As esoteric as the first two explanations may sound, they're entirely plausi-
ble. In fact, certain types of massage are famous for stirring up emotions. 
Rolling, for instance, often triggers this type of experience. The explanation 
for this emotional component of massage is straightforward — your body 
and mind have faithfully recorded your every experience, but some of these 
experiences were so unpleasant that you filed them away In your uncon-
scious and shut down certain feelings in the corresponding part of your 
body. Massaging the affected areas can bring your awareness back to your 
body, thus unlocking the memories. 
If you encounter one of these emotional peaks yourself during a massage, 
relax, breathe, and allow it to happen. Remembering that you are safe in your 
present environment, let your mind drift to whatever images or memories 
seem to be surfacing. You may find yourself remembering all sorts of things 
that you hadn't thought of for years, and you can benefit from letting the 
attendant emotions flow freely through your body, without trying to stifle 
them. Professional massage therapists are accustomed to this type of emo-
tional release and know how to make you feel comfortable while it's 
happening. There's no need to feel embarrassed by the experience. 
if, as occasionally happens, one ...

95 
Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
Rute #7: I3tissing Out Is Okay 
Sometimes, massage doesn't Just make you feel great; it makes you feel ecsta-
tic, rapturous, and filled with bliss. The feeling is visceral. You're lying there 
one minute relaxing, hopefully concentrating on your breathing, but perhaps 
just going over your grocery list in your head, when KABOOM!, it hits you, 
and suddenly you're just floating there in a syrupy sea of endorphins, not 
knowing what to do with yourself. 
I can tell you what to do: enjoy this feeling while it lasts, because, like every 
other human experience, it passes. 
These experiences are different for everyone, and nobody knows exactly 
what causes them. They've been responsible for many people changing their 
entire lives and heading into a career as a massage therapist. And people 
with spiritual inclinations, once touched in this fashion, have created entire 
ministries devoted to the "laying on of hands." 
A minister named Zach Thomas from North Carolina once had such a power-
ful experience receiving a massage that he went on to become a massage 
therapist himself. At first, his church was opposed to his hands-on work, and 
Zach had to practice massage privately. Eventually, though, he took his skills 
and his compassionate touch out to the public, performing massage for dying 
people in hospices and hospitals. He helped form a group called the National 
Association of Bodywork in Religious Services (NABRS), which is active 
today with hundreds of members. Much of the work the members of this 
association do is for those people who wouldn't otherwise be able to afford 
it. The nuns and priests and other clergy involved practice the actual "laying 
on of hands" as written about in the Bible. For more information, you can 
write to the organization at 337 Tranquil Avenue, Charlotte, NC 28209. 
The spiritual secret behind massage? Simpleahat massage really boils down 
to is two people just being together fully in the...

 
Chapter 7: The Rules for Receiving Massage 99 
Rule #8: It's Cool to Be Nude (Or Not) 
You are, whether you like it or not, naked all the time beneath your clothes. 
You were born nude, just like every other human on the planet. Nudity is nat-
ural. However, each culture develops its own peculiar attitudes about nudity, 
ranging from those who consider it extremely awkward, embarrassing, and 
inappropriate at all times to those who don't think twice about it, anytime, 
anywhere, for any reason. 
Neither attitude Is healthier than the other, they're just different. The key for 
massage situations is to respect the attitudes of both people at all times. If 
either the person receiving or giving the massage is uncomfortable with any 
kind of skin exposure whatsoever, you're much better off to cover that area 
up and keep it covered than to cause discomfort. This applies to the entire 
body, even the legs and arms, which most people are comfortable exposing. 
Although gliding an oiled palm is definitely easier over bare skin than cov-
ered skin, massage has other moves besides gliding, and you can give a very 
good massage to a fully clothed person (I show you how in Chapter 11). 
Remember this message: When you receive a massage, you're okay the way 
you are — nude or totally covered up. Just be comfortable. 
Rule #9: you're the Boss 
Even though you're lying down with your eyes closed during most massages, 
you're still in charge. With the slightest word or gesture, you can change the 
course of the proceedings. Deeper pressure? It's up to you. Slower pace? 
That's your call, too. Less chit-chat? Your decision. 
You have complete authority to change anything that may be making you 
uncomfortable. Requesting a change of music, for example, is perfectly per-
missible, as Is turning the music off altogether. If you want to be covered 
more modestly, just ask. Whatever you say goes. You can say exactly what 
you're feeling, even ending the massage at any time, for any r...

100 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
Rate #10: Be Gratetut 
During the massage itself, spend some time being grateful for what you're 
experiencing in the moment. This course is by far the best one to take, 
instead of the alternatives, which consist of 
°  Wondering when the massage is going to end 
 Plotting the next time you can get a massage 
 Planning your next business trip 
 Worrying about the world economy 
Also, be sure to share your feelings of gratitude with the person who just 
gave yOu the massage, being especially vocal about her fantastic skills and 
techniques. That way, she'll look forward to giving you your next massage as 
much as you'll look forward to getting it. 
EFTA00008146

Chapter 8 
Your First Massage 
Appointment 
Step-by-Step 
In This Chapter 
D Walking through your first appointment 
>Where to go to get a massage 
p
robably the biggest barrier that stops people from ever signing up for 
their first professional massage is a fear of the unknown. Let's face it: If 
you have never ventured into a room with a stranger to get rubbed before, 
you Just don't know what to expect, and the thought of becoming vulnerable 
in any way doesn't inspire you to take the first step. 
But hold on. Think back for just a minute. Do you remember any experience 
in your entire life that was not scary the first time you tried it? Go as far back 
as your first day at kindergarten. That's scary. Getting your first massage is 
just another step along the road of discovery in your life. 
Your First Appointment with a Pro 
You can use the following seven steps as a guide to help you breeze through 
your first appointment with confidence and poise, starting before you even 
arrive and lasting right up until you walk out the door. 
Preparation 
In order to get the most out of your massage, you have to do a little more 
planning and preparation than you would, say, in order to go get a haircut. 
When you schedule your massage, keep these points in mind: 
EFTA00008147

102 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
 Don't eat a large meal within a couple hours before starting the massage. 
You don't want to be lying face down on a belly full of lasagna while 
somebody is pressing on your back. Light meals and snacks are okay, 
and a larger meal several hours earlier won't affect you. 
 If possible, don't wear a lot of jewelry, which takes a lot to time to take 
off and put back on again. 
 Refrain from consuming alcohol before your massage (unless it's a sen-
sual massage and you're sharing a bottle of bubbly with that special 
someone to get in the mood). Although alcohol can help relax you, ft 
also slows your responses and deadens some sensations. You want to be 
alert and responsive because massage is a two-way dance and you need 
to do your part. 
 Make sure to schedule enough time before and after your massage so 
you're not rushing to get there and flying out the door when you leave. 
Hurrying tends to counteract the relaxing effects of the massage itself. 
 Turn off pagers and cellular phones during the massage. This probably 
seems obvious, but it may surprise you to know that beeps, buzzes, and 
rings have interrupted many tranquil, soothing massages. 
 Make sure any childcare details are completely taken care of before you 
begin so your mind can be at ease during your session. 
No particular time of day is best to receive a massage, but most people have 
their own personal preference. Some like the morning so they can experience 
the benefits throughout the day, and others like a massage right before going 
to bed at night. Whichever your choice is, try to schedule far enough in 
advance so you get the time you prefer. Many massage therapists are busy, 
and their "prime times" are taken up early. 
Communication 
When you arrive at your massage destination, especially for the first time, 
you need to engage in a little communication with the person who is going to 
massage you. So it helps, of course, if you speak th...

 
Chapter 8: Your First Massage Appointment — Step-by-Step 
03 
When you finally meet your massage therapist for the first time, there may be 
some nonverbal communication required also, in the form of paperwork to 
fill out, like the actual massage therapist's intake form. "Why do I have to fill 
out these medical forms if all I want is a simple massage?" you may ask. Well, 
it's for your own good. Massage affects the entire body, and it's best if your 
massage therapist knows as much as possible about your health history. If a 
massage therapist doesn't ask you to fill out a form, however, it doesn't mean 
she doesn't care about your health; that's just her style, or the policy of the 
spa or health club where she works. 
Another type of communication you share with your massage therapist is 
both nonverbal and non-written — body language. Your massage therapist, 
by profession an expert in the language of the body, may try her best not to 
laugh out loud while your body silently struggles with embarrassment and 
anxiety at the prospect of getting your first massage. Just kidding! Actually, as 
you may imagine, massage therapists become very adept at making their 
clients feel at ease in a potentially uneasy situation. It's the little things they 
do (and don't do) that make the difference. It could be where they point their 
eyes or how they manipulate sheets and towels to make you feel protected 
and respected. It's the way they just relax and accept you when you make 
yourself vulnerable by being there. 
Besides, they're just as eager to make a good first impression as you are, 
partly because it's human nature and partly because they want you as a 
repeat customer! 
Getting comfortable 
In most massage situations, after you arrive and go through your communica-
tion rituals, the next step is undressing and lying down. This can be tricky. 
It's the moment many people dread, and the one that keeps them from ever 
getting a "real" massage. The way it works is lik...

7 04 
Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
entangle a finger (wedding bands are okay). Usually, there is a little table 
or shelf to hold your belongings, and you can find a hook for your 
clothes. If you have long hair, you may want to tie it back so It doesn't 
get in the way. Also, it's a good idea to visit the bathroom before you lay 
down on the table, even if you don't think you have to go. Getting a mas-
sage with a full bladder takes a lot of the enjoyment out of it. 
3. Lie down on the table in the position you were told and pull the sheet or 
towel up over your body, completely covering yourself. 
4. The massage therapist knocks and asks if it's okay to enter again. When 
you give the go-ahead, she comes in, and then usually washes her 
hands. She does this for three reasons: 
• To reassure you that her hands are clean 
• To wash away any dirt or germs she may have contacted since 
scrubbing them the last time a few minutes earlier 
• In many areas the law requires it 
5. She makes sure you're comfortable, checking the room temperature, 
tucking the towel around your body, and adjusting the lights and music. 
She may also slip a little pillow or piece of foam rubber beneath your 
knees, ankles, or head to help support you. These cushions are called 
bolsters, and they really help you feel more comfortable. If you feel a 
strain or lack of support in any area of your body, just let the massage 
therapist know. 
6. After everything's set, your massage therapist uncovers just the area that 
she is going to work on. If she plans to massage your neck, she pulls the 
sheet down to the top of your chest. Massage therapists always leave 
women's breasts covered, and no one's "private parts" ever get exposed. 
Sometimes no matter how hard you try, all these massage rules go out the 
window. Like the time I was working at a spa and had the opportunity to mas-
sage Dr. Ruth Westheimer. I'll never forget the experience because, for one 
thing, she threw her robe of...

Chapter 8: Your First Massage Appointment — Step-by-Step 105 
Avoiding the bathrobe dance 
As a massage therapist in spas, on many occa-
sions I've entered the massage room to begin a 
massage only to find my client lying there, face 
down, rigid with nervousness, with her bathrobe 
tied super-tight around her waist Before leav-
ing the room to let her disrobe, I'd instructed her 
to take her robe off and lie down under the sheet 
I'd provided, but some clients are too tense to 
hear those instructions. 
And so that's when we begin the bathrobe 
dance. 
The bathrobe dance is an awkward ordeal that 
usually last4 about two minutes. While the mas-
sage therapist tries to assist as best he can, the 
dent rolls, wriggles, and writhes herway out of 
the bathrobe while remaining face down and 
completely covered at all times. The client's 
rump usually scoots up in the air, arms and 
legs splay every which way, and her face turns 
bright red. 
Then, after the robe is finally loosened from 
around her body and her arms -are out of the 
armholes, the massage therapist haste drape a 
sheet or towel over it-before skillfully slipping 
the robe from underneath. This entire procedure 
leaves the client even more tense than when 
she started, and more embarrassed than she 
Would havebeen if she'd simply listened to the 
instructions. 
If you find yourself on the table still wrapped in your robe, make things easy 
on yourself. Don't wear yourself out before the massage by wrestling with 
your robe. Instead, say something like, "That was so silly of me," and ask the 
massage therapist to leave the room again to give you another chance. Then 
get off the table, slip out of your robe, and lie down beneath the sheet like 
you were supposed to in the first place. 
If, rather than a bathrobe, you have a towel wrapped around you before the 
massage, make sure not to lie down directly upon the knotted part so you 
have to do the "rock-n-roll" to loosen it. Instead, open the towel up and ...

106 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
Take advantage of this initial contact by tuning in especially closely to what's 
happening in your own body. In the same way that you pick up a lot of infor-
mation about the person who's touching you, she's picking up a lot of 
information.about you. It's a good opportunity for you to concentrate on 
your breathing and relaxation. 
During the massage 
During the massage, your massage therapist continues to keep you covered 
at all times, only exposing those areas that she's working on at the moment. 
Massage therapists are experts at this technique, called draping, and they 
make you feel completely comfortable, almost as if you were fully dressed 
during the experience. 
Yes, you are comfortable and modestly covered the whole time, but what are 
you supposed to actually DO while you're getting a massage? That's the 
biggest problem many people have, especially "type A" people. They figure 
that getting a massage is just plain boring and that's why they decide not to 
do it. 
Okay, so getting a massage is not exactly the same as bungee jumping from a 
hot-air balloon, attending a rock concert, or brokering a multi-million dollar 
deal in a corporate boardroom. But if you let it, massage can become com-
pelling, thrilling even, in a very internal kind of way. It's like taking a roller 
coaster ride inside your own skin. 
The trick is not to try and make anything happen, but to Just let whatever 
happens happen. You're not supposed to do anything. Your massage thera-
pist tells you if you have to move a certain way or breathe a certain way or 
visualize a certain image. Besides that, the less you do the better. Think of 
massage as a trip to the beach. You're supposed to just lie there and do 
nothing. 
"But what if I fall asleep?" you gasp. "Wouldn't that insult the massage thera-
pist?" Not at all. In fact, some massage therapists take it as a compliment that 
they can get their clients to relax this deeply. However, you...

 
Chapter 8: Your First Massage Appointment— Step-by-Step 107 
Under pressure 
So, what's the right amount of pressure to ask for 
during a massage anyway? Pressure refers to 
how hard or softthe massage feels, how painful 
or soothing. Usually, your massage therapist has 
a lot of experience in this area and can find just 
the right pressure to suit your particular body 
type and your level of sensitivity. But there may 
betimes when you want her to change the pres-
sure, and it helps if you know what to ask for. 
It's silly to suffer through a massage that's too 
soft or too hard just because you're too bashful 
to say anything about it You can use this scale 
from 1-10 to communicate your desired pres-
sure level to your massage therapist 
1 Light as a feather. The fingertips merely 
skim over the surface.of the skin to provide 
stimulation to the nerve endings, but no 
pressure is exertedonto the body. 
2-3 Very light tolight Many people prefer this 
kind of silky, gliding touch, but it drives 
Others crazy bacause they think the mas-
sage therapist isn't "getting in there and 
workingthe niuscles.-
4-6 Moderate to moderately firm. This is where 
most massage takes place. You can defi-
nitely feel some pressure, and you know 
the massage is having some definite physi-
cal effects, but never so much that it's 
annoying. 
7-9 Arm to very firm to deep. At these levels, 
you may begin to squirm a little. And you 
may even say something like, "What are 
you trying to do, kill me?" Rest assured, the 
massage therapist is not trying to kill you. 
She's just being merciless in her attempt to 
root out and destroy any tightness she's 
found. Mercilessness can be a good quality 
in a massage therapist. 
10 Profoundly deep massage. This level 
reaches to the core of your body's deeper 
structures, actually altering your posture 
and inner alignment. This should be 
reserved for masochists, people with a high 
pain tolerance, and those who know what 
they're doing. 
If ther...

1 05 
Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
Jov More or less time spent fn a particular area. But be aware that the mas-
sage therapist may be using her knowledge to achieve a certain goal, 
working in the area that's most effective, even if you think It's not 
directly connected to your problem. 
 A glass of water. 
 A trip to the bathroom. 
 A chance to express your feelings and ask for reassurance, especially if a 
strong emoticurbegins to surface during your massage. 
Beware of the massage therapist who claims she can only perform "deep" 
work and then proceeds to pummel your body even after you request lighter 
pressure. It's never necessary to undergo a painful ordeal In order to experi-
ence the relaxation you seek. 
Coming back slowly 
Take it easy getting off the table and back into your life. There's no need to 
hurry. In fact, most massage therapists suggest that you just lay there and 
absorb the effects of the massage and the relaxation for a few minutes before 
getting up again. Unless you're late for something urgent, such as an interna-
tional plane trip to go receive the Nobel Prize at an awards banquet being 
held in your honor, follow this suggestion. These few minutes can be an 
exquisite interlude during which your cares and concerns seem a million 
miles away. Relish it. 
Then, when you finally decide to get up, don't be shy about asking for help if 
you need it, as you may feel a little wobbly at first. 
There is a special way to get yourself off a massage table that helps you keep 
the effects intact. Instead of essentially doing a sit-up and re-tensing all your 
muscles in order to get upright again, simply roll onto your side and push 
gently against the table with both hands while you slowly roll back into a sit-
ting position. Your feet and legs will end up hanging over the edge of the 
table, as you see illustrated in Figure 8-1. Then you can slide your rear-end off 
the table like a buttered pancake. 
Afterglow 
When you first step...

 
Chapter 8: Your First Massage Appointment — Step-by-Step 109 
may want to take one if you're going out later. If the massage therapist used 
excess oil, you can wipe it off with a towel or some rubbing alcohol before 
putting clothes back on, especially silk garments. 
Figure 8-1: 
There's a 
right way 
and a wrong 
way to get 
off a mas-
sage table. 
This is the 
right way. 
Take some time to reorient yourself. Be cautious about driving your car right 
away as you may feel a bit "disconnected," as if your body were inside of a 
big box filled with cotton. 
Before you leave, take the massage therapist's business card, and consider 
making another appointment so you don't have to worry about it later. 
To tip or not to tip 
You're all ready to head out the door when suddenly it occurs to you that 
perhaps you should tip the person who just gave you the massage. Is it 
appropriate? Would she be insulted if you gave her a tip? Upset if you didn't? 
The answer is ... "it depends." 
It depends upon where you received the massage. Was it a spa? Then a tip Is 
almost always expected, unless the spa has a policy against it. Was it at a 
sports medicine clinic? Then tips are not usually part of the procedure. Did 
you receive the massage at home? Then a tip is definitely appreciated, as the 
massage therapist went out of her way to provide the service. 
EFTA00008155

110 
Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
Overcoming the heebie jeebies 
ifrevingter trying seine of thasuggestionsin 
this chapter, you're stillharboring &tiny bitot 
fear and loathing about massage somewhere in 
your subconscious inind; that's all right.ff eh the 
same way; too, the first time I.disrobed for a ses-
sion as a student at the Massage Moot of 
SantaMonica-Manyyears age. 
It's perfectly naturalle feel somewhat anxious 
atthe thought of somebody yoadon't even know 
touching you for an extended period of time. 
And the thought of somebody you do know 
touching you. for a whole hour may even be 
worsel In the highly sophisticated, jet-setter 
world of massage therapy, these feelings of 
anxiety are known by the technical term 
"heebie-jeebies." Unless'you grew up in a 
household.where massage was as common as 
Saturday morning cartoons, the heebie-jeebies 
may present a problern when you're first getting 
readyto climb up on a massage table and simply 
receive. 
My advice? Feenhe fear and do it anyway. 
Plunge in and get that massage. Afterwardsrif 
Vetere like 99.9 percent of all people; you say to 
yourself, "Thatwasn't soled! Why didn't I do 
this along time ago?" 
Some massage therapists feel tipping for a massage is inappropriate. They 
want their work to be considered in the same category as any other health 
care provider's. You wouldn't tip your chiropractor, your homeopath, or your 
M.D., right? 
So how do you know what to do? Tipping ultimately boils down to an under-
standing with the massage therapist. If you're at all uncertain, simply ask, "Is 
tipping allowed here?" The customary tip amount in most locations is usually 
in the $5410 range, more if the massage therapist is working late, went far 
out of her way, or did an especially good Job. And, remember, you never hove 
to tip for massage. It's not like tipping a waiter, who's making the bulk of his 
income through gratuities. Massage therapists are usually pretty well paid for 
what t...

 
Chapter 8: Your First Massage Appointment — Step-by-Step 
Your own home 
Getting a professional massage in your own home is great. In fact, some 
people think it's the crème de la creme of massage experiences. You don't 
have to drive anywhere. You're in safe, familiar surroundings. And, best of all, 
afterwards all you have to do is roll over into your own bed or onto your own 
couch. The massage therapist leaves, and you float off on a wave of bliss in 
the comfort of your own home. 
What could be better? 
However, there are some downsides to the in-home massage visit. For one 
thing, you're basically inviting a stranger to set up her business right in your 
own bedroom or your den, which is kind of an invasion of privacy. And 
another thing —when you're at home, you're surrounded by your own life. 
Every detail is there to remind you of your pre and post-massage existence, 
which may perhaps detract from the "escape" factor of your experience. 
Then there are the distractions. If you have children, you can pretty much 
count on them wanting to crawl up on the massage table with you and "help" 
the nice massage person do her job. This is very endearing of the little tykes, 
but it's not the straight and narrow road to total relaxation. 
Only sign up for an in-home massage if you're comfortable with other people 
in your private space and you can keep distractions to a minimum. 
The massage therapist's home 
Many massage therapists have a space set up in their own homes for giving 
massage. This can range from a dinky little corner in one end of the living 
room to an entire suite of offices with a separate entrance. You may like the 
"personalized" feeling of visiting a massage therapist in her home, where you 
can take advantage of the relaxing environment she has (hopefully) set up. On 
the other hand, if you're the type of person who prefers a more clearly defined 
edge between the personal and professional aspects of your transactions, the 
massage therapist...

112 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
greatly detract from your experience. You may need to make an extra effort 
to enforce rule # 9 from Chapter 7. You're the boss, even if you're in her 
home, and for this hour you're in charge. 
Spas 
Some of the most beautiful massage environments in the world can be found 
in spas, and you find out more about them in Chapter 15. Grand destination 
spas dot the map in every state now, and if you look in your Yellow Pages, 
you're likely to find a day spa that you can check out right in your own town. 
While spas are often pleasant and luxurious, there are a couple things you 
should keep in mind when signing up for a massage in one: 
 Massage therapists in spas only keep a (usually small) percentage of the 
profits, which sometimes leads them to give less than their absolute 
best work. 
 Massage Therapists in spas are "on the clock," and you're likely to get a 
massage that is exactly 50 minutes long, so she has time to prepare the 
room for the next client. It's a rare massage therapist who can still give 
you a feeling of timeless bliss within that shortened hour. 
 Often, the style of massage given in spas is dictated by a lowest-
common-denominator mentality, and massage therapists are not allowed 
to use their advanced techniques for fear of alienating a clientele who 
wants "just a rubdown." 
These warnings notwithstanding, there's no reason to believe you won't 
receive an incredible massage in a spa. Some of the best massage therapists 
work in them. Also, if you end up finding a massage therapist you really like, 
you can ask her whether she also takes private clients outside the spa, which 
may mean a better deal for her and a better massage for you. Be diplomatic 
when doing this though, as many spas have a policy against their massage 
therapists "stealing" customers in this way. 
Cruise ships 
Cruise ships are fun places to get massages, if you don't mind rocking back 
and forth a little bit while you're ...

 
Chapter 8: Your First Massage Appointment— Step-by-Step 113 
 Because floor space and portholes are at a premium on ships, massage 
rooms onboard are usually teeny tiny little quarters with no natural 
light. If you're used to ample luxurious massage spaces, you may feel a 
little claustrophobic in this environment. 
 Even more so than in spas on land, shipboard massage therapists are 
part of a massage assembly line, and sometimes the massages are lim-
ited to half an hour. It's rough to coax the best from your massage 
therapist because she sees so many people come and go — none of 
whom are repeat customers. 
 Make sure to sign up early — as soon as you come on board — If you're 
thinking about getting a massage during your cruise because the best 
time slots fill up fast. You may want an appointment during a "sea day," 
rather than in port, so you don't have to decide between getting a mas-
sage and going ashore to sightsee or shop. 
Hotels 
Many hotels have their own spas, so all you have to do to book a massage is 
call the spa desk. For those hotels without a spa, you'll want to contact the 
concierge to arrange your appointment. 
One note about concierges: Watch out! They often take a good chunk of the 
massage therapist's fee for themselves, and they have a stable of ever-ready 
massage therapists at hand who allow them to do that. So, the quality is not 
always the best. You may be better off placing a call directly to a professional 
that you find listed under licensed practitioners in the local Yellow Pages or 
newspaper. That way you can avoid the fee and perhaps find higher-quality 
work as well. 
All in all, hotel rooms are on the low end of the totem pole as far as receiving 
massages go. They're impersonal, they're cramped, and they often have that 
funny hotel-room-smell that no amount of incense or positive thinking can 
overcome. If you find yourself in a hotel room somewhere with nowhere else 
to go for your massage, and only a concierge to...

4 Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage  
profits, and even a chance to run their own concession, so you may very well 
find some motivated individuals. The massage is often high-quality, especially 
if you're interested in sports-related therapy. And in a health club you can 
receive your massage immediately after a strenuous workout and a limb-loos-
ening sauna. 
Clinics 
Many massage therapists open up their own clinics. The setup is similar to 
any other professional office, like a chiropractor's, a doctor's, or a dentist's. 
You walk in the front door into a waiting area with a potted plant, some maga-
zines, chairs, and a reception desk. Behind the desk is a hallway with a few 
doors opening into rooms. The rooms behind those doors, however, can 
differ decidedly from other clinics. Depending upon the personality and style 
of the massage therapist, a massage treatment room can range from white-
tiled sterility with anatomical charts on the walls to a softly glowing, plush 
chamber of warmth filled with the strains of celestial music. 
One specialty in this area is known as the sports massage clinic. The massage 
therapists In these facilities concentrate on rehabilitating you after an Injury. 
They often work with orthopedic physicians and physical therapists. A trip 
to this type of no-nonsense massage clinic may feel more like a hospital visit 
than a spa visit. 
Student massage clinics 
Because of the wide disparity between massage therapists and the environ-
ments they create in which to work, it's a good idea to go check out each 
environment personally, or at least get a detailed description of it from a 
friend, before you sign up for your first massage there. That way you can 
avoid the nasty surprises that can surface, such as when you make an 
appointment at your local day spa for a relaxing hour of escape only to find 
the massage room is directly adjacent to a bank of two dozen noisy hair-
drying machines. 
EFTA00008160

Part III 
The Art of Giving 
Massage 
The 5th Wave 
By Rich Tennant 
' 1 many dont think a simple neck message 
is ping -Eo FAE. rid. o£ your headaches" 
EFTA00008161

In this part ... 
ou're no doubt familiar with the famous expression, 
"it's better to give than to receive." And if you're like 
most people, every time you've heard someone utter 
that wonderful phrase, filled as it is with such a beautiful 
philanthropic message, you've thought to yourself, "Yeah, 
right. I'll take receiving any day." 
But you have to admit, there's a certain gratification that 
comes from giving which quite often actually makes it feel 
better than receiving — more meaningful, more fulfilling. 
And the secret to achieving that kind of fulfillment is that 
you have to give with your whole heart. It won't work if 
you're just going through the motions. 
This is especially true for massage. Sure, you can rub 
some warmed almond oil on your partner's back for 20 
minutes while watching the clock out with one eye and 
the football game on TV with the other, but that's not 
what massage is all about. 
Massage is about cultivating the right attitude — the 
giver's attitude — not just applying mechanical maneu-
vers, which any massage text can teach you. 
But don't worry: In this part of the book, you're going to 
discover how to actually give a massage, too! And as 
you'll see, it's not that difficult. Just follow the simple 
Instructions, and In no time, you'll be reproducing the 
very same techniques you see being performed by the 
highly trained models in the photographs. No problem. 
That's right. You can become one of those people about 
whom everyone else exclaims, "What great hands you've 
got!" Just remember to focus on your "giver's attitude" as 
much as your manual skills, and you'll do Just fine. 
EFTA00008162

Chapter 9 
Massage Moods: Getting the 
Setting Right 
In This Chapter 
D Making sure that everything looks, sounds, smells, and feels right 
Is. Trading places 
Say
ay your husband or wife or roommate sees you reading this book for 
hours on end and eventually says something to you like, "Hey, how about 
giving ME a massage? Right nowt" 
Your immediate response should be: 
A. Sure, lie down on the linoleum here and we'll get started. 
B. No way, I'm too nervous about ever actually doing this stuff. 
C. I haven't finished the book yet. 
D. Okay, but give me a few minutes to set the right mood. 
Yes, oh intelligent massage student, you've once again chosen correctly. The 
answer is D. It's definitely true that your partner appreciates it if you take a 
little time to set up a special environment or "massage mood" before you 
begin the actual massage. And, even if you're in a less-than-ideal environ-
ment, don't worry. You can materialize a magical massage mood Just about 
anywhere if you use some of the ideas in this chapter to create your own 
"inner chamber." 
Creating the Inner Chamber 
One of the big secrets to giving a good massage has very little to do with the 
massage itself. It has to do, rather, with where the massage is happening. And 
I'm not talking about exotic locales like Bali or Atlantic City. I'm referring to 
more accessible locations, like your bedroom or the couch in your den. 
EFTA00008163

8
 
Part 
The Art of Giving Massage  
So how do you turn these everyday places into someplace special? It's easy; 
the trick is to involve all the senses. 
Massage, of course, relies heavily upon the senses for its effects. Your sense 
of touch, especially, is being bombarded the entire time you're giving or 
receiving a massage. But it would be a mistake to neglect the other senses; 
they can add greatly to your massage experience, too. 
The sense of taste doesn't usually play a big part in massage, unless of 
course you like to use edible massage oils like strawberry, almond, and mint 
that are ... whoops, I think we're straying a little beyond the scope of this 
chapter. Check out Chapter 19 for more information on sensual massage, 
including the use of all kinds of flavored oils. 
Anyway, for now let's concentrate on the three remaining senses that come 
into play during a massage experience, also known as the 3 S's of your inner 
chamber: 
 Scents 
 Sights 
 Sounds 
Scents 
Professional massage therapists often coach their clients through some deep-
breathing techniques as part of the massage. And, as you may suspect, all 
that breathing includes quite a bit of smelling, too. That's part of the reason 
why massage pros have so much concern about the way that their work-
rooms smell. In addition, they also know how powerful the sense of smell can 
be for healing and relaxation. 
Just sniffing a whiff of corn muffins like the ones your Aunt Betty used to 
bake when you visited her on weekends as a kid Is enough to send you reel-
ing back through the years, right? Why is that so? Aromas trigger a mighty 
emotional response because the molecules that enter your nose don't mess 
around. They do not pass GO; they do not collect $200. Instead, they take a 
direct route straight into the mldbrain area, which is the seat of your emo-
tions and memories. This fact is a key to the power of aromatherapy. 
Aromatherapy 
if you use advanced grammatical techniques to break...

 
Chapter 9: Massage Moods: Getting the Setting Right 
19 
Hardly. Aromatherapy is the use of highly concentrated essential oils from 
certain plants to stimulate the brain. This stimulation causes a positive effect 
on the nervous and glandular systems and thus the entire body. During a 
massage, you can utilize aromatherapy in several ways. In Chapter 11, you 
find out how to mix up an aromatherapy massage oil, but for now let's focus 
on three other aromatherapy tips that can help you scent your massage 
space. 
 Diffusers: As the name suggests, a diffuser diffuses aroma into the air. 
Several inexpensive models ($10415) are available that use a miniature 
fan. Simply place a few drops of your favorite oil on a cotton pad, turn 
on the fan, and the scent of essential oils fills the room. 
 Candles: Many commercially available candles have essential oils 
worked right into the wax, and burning one during a massage is a great 
way to combine effects in two of the three S's, sight and scent. Until 
recently, you had to visit a specialty shop to purchase aromatherapy 
candles, but now they're even available at your local grocery store. S.C. 
Johnson, for example, makers of Glade air fresheners, is now in the aro-
matherapy market with candles and sprays. 
 Bulb rings: These little doodads were popular in the 1970s when they 
were used to cover up even more exotic aromas floating around the 
room at parties. Now they're making a comeback as aromatherapy aids. 
Basically, they're floppy little rings that you place over a light bulb. 
When you sprinkle several drops of essential oil into the ring and turn 
on the bulb, Presto! — instant aromatherapy. 
If aromatherapy is something you're keenly interested in, I would recommend 
Aromatherapy For Dummies by Kathi Keville, published by IDG Books 
Worldwide, a book that promises to answer that age-old question, "How can I 
smell better and feel better at the same time?" 
Incense 
The musky, natural scents that burning inc...

120 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
An altar to the massage gods 
Some people go so far as to create a special 
altar in the area where they give their mas-
sages. This is going a bit out into Shirley 
MacLeine land, I realize, but when you think 
about it, it makes sense. A massage can be a 
kind of shared spiritual experience (See Rule 
#7 in Chapter 7), and an altar is a way to com-
memorate that. 
So what should be on a massage altar, you ask? 
You can place the objects mentioned elsewhere 
in this chapter, such as water fountains, can-
dles, incense burners, and flowers on your altar. 
Then you can go a step further and add a pho-
tograph or two as well. Pick a subject that 
reminds you of spiritual things, such as a photo 
of the Dalai Lama, Saint Francis, or whales 
cavorting in the waves. 
If you spend time meditating or simply sitting 
quietly at your altar, you can embue the space 
with a quiet energy. People who join you there 
may notice the difference. I don't know if this is 
due to an actual exchange of peaceful mole-
cules, an increase in negative ions, or what, but 
it can definitely be felt. 
There are thousands of brands and "flavors" of Incense. My favorite is the 
Nag Champa scent, which, although I've never been there, reminds me of a 
sacred meditation cave in the Himalayas. 
Flowers 
Nothing beats the scent of fresh flowers in your massage area. You don't need 
a big vase and a big budget to make it happen either. All that's necessary is a 
small bowl, a cup, or a mug from the kitchen cabinet that you fill with water, 
and a single flower. Roses or gardenias work especially well. Snip the flower 
off the stem and float it on the water. This fills the air with scent for hours or 
even days. 
If you want to get really romantic, spread some fresh petals on the bed or 
other massage surface to set the mood. Cleopatra had her love chamber 
filled a foot deep with rose petals before Anthony made his big entrance. 
Sights 
It may sound funny t...

 
Chapter 9: Massage Moods: Getting the Setting Right 121 
 Flowers: Even a small bunch of silk flowers placed with care near the 
massage area shows this is someplace special. 
 Lighting: You can do some simple things with lighting to make your 
space massage-friendly. 
• Turn the lights down low. This helps the person on the receiving 
end concentrate more on the massage, perhaps because she won't 
feel like you are scrutinizing her body under a microscope. 
• Throw a silk scarf over a lampshade to create instant mood light-
ing during a massage. 
 Color Drape the area with soft colorful fabrics. 
Sounds 
Carefully selected sounds serve two main purposes during a massage: 
0  They add to the mood. 
 They mask other, distracting, sounds like traffic noises and TVs. 
There are a number of really interesting ways to make sound a part of your 
massage, and you may find that some massage pros carry an entire arsenal of 
sound makers to add to their clients' experience. Some of my favorites 
include: 
 Tibetan meditation bowls: These look like simple brass bowls, but 
when you glide a wooden instrument along the rim, they sing out beauti-
fully with rich vibrant tones. 
 Ting shaks: Mother Tibetan invention, you strike these heavy brass 
bells together to form a clear, long-lasting tone that sets a meditative 
mood for a massage. 
 Gongs: Yes, miniature versions, complete with a little gong hammer, are 
available. 
 Wind chimes: A classic in the relaxing-sounds category, there are liter-
ally thousands of types available. If you can't be near an open window to 
hear the chimes, place them indoors near an oscillating fan to simulate 
blowing breezes. 
And, if all else fails ... earplugs work wonders. You can get them at your local 
drugstore. 
Water 
You know those cute little burbling pots filled with rocks and miniature 
waterfalls? You can find them in a lot of gift shops these days, and while they 
are a tad overpriced, they definitely add a lot to the ambie...

122 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
you're the industrious type, you can overcome the price problem by building 
a little indoor fountain for yourself. All it takes is a container, some rocks, and 
a small submersible water pump. 
Of course, being outside near a source of natural flowing water is a great 
choice, too, but then you have to consider other details, such as tempera-
ture, rain, insects, and privacy. 
One thing to remember — the sound of running water seems to have a power-
ful effect on the bladder. Make extra sure your partner visits the bathroom 
before receiving a massage with a waterfall nearby. 
Music 
Music, of course, is the most popular type of sound used to complement mas-
sage. In most big spas, for example, they pump music directly into the 
massage rooms from a central sound system, putting the guests in the right 
mood to relax and unwind. 
One massage manufacturing company built stereo speakers right into the 
bed of a massage table so that when you lie down on it, the music literally 
vibrates you. While this may be going a bit far, music is still the best and easi-
est way for you to include the element of sound in your massage. 
An entire industry has sprung up to provide music appropriate for massage. If 
you want to experience some of the most popular massage music, try putting 
one of the following tapes or CDs on the next time you exchange a massage: 
 George Winston's December 
 Pachabel's Cannon 
 Deuter Ecstasy 
 Anything by Stephen Halpern 
 Brian Eno, Musk for Airports 
 Ray Lynch, Musk to Disappear Into 
 Enya, especially her Orinoco Flow CD 
 The Cowboy Junkies, Trinity Session (a personal, offbeat favorite) 
 Yanni, especially his In My Time 
 Any relaxing classical music 
• 
Don't get the wrong idea here, though. Massage music doesn't necessarily 
have to be flutes or harps or Yanni 'til you yawn. You can be creative in your 
choices, and sometimes the best massages are given to the most unlikely 
accompanim...

 
Chapter 9: Massage Moods: Getting the Setting Right 
23 
4.tat mit
Reggae massage 
One day whew! was in charge of the massage 
crew at-a large spa in-Florida, I suddenly was 
completely fed up with the droning of flutes, 
harps, and syrupy synthesizer music that poured 
endlessly out of the stereo speakers in each of 
the 24 massage rooms. Heading to the sound 
control room, I secretly exchanged the -well-
worn New Age CDs for some-reggae discs with 
distinctively upbeat sounds. 
It was the middle of a lazy, rainy afternoon. The 
massage rooms were filled with customers who 
were all paying upwards of $5,000 per week to 
be there, and I wasn't sure exactly what the 
reactionwouldtbe. Would•the:customers com-
plain? Would I be fired? 
After just two hours, theverdict came in, and 
someone passedine the message ... "Steve, 
the spatirector wants to see you.inher. office." 
Gulp. 
When I arrived, the director had an expression 
of profound curiosity on her face. "Do you know 
what was going on with the music in the mas-
sage roomsthis afternoon?" she asked. 
"I... urn, well... " 
"Because whatever itwas, the customers loved 
it. Two of them even wanted to know where they 
could purchase a copy for themselves! Nobody 
has ever asked that-before." 
Inas glad to be off the hook, and I was happyto 
know that most people seemed to agree-with 
me on the subject of massage music. It doesn't 
always have to be so ... well, tranquilizing. 
As a final note about music, remember that the person receiving the massage 
is always right. This includes being right about the choice of music, even if 
that choice makes absolutely no sense to you. I had one client who always 
insisted on receiving his massages to the accompaniment of the local rock & 
roll radio station. Go figure. 
Location location location 
Once, in a typically cramped New York City apartment, I had to give a mas-
sage on the only available large flat surface, which turned out to be a wooden 
dining room table. We l...

24 
Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
You can comfortably give massages in any room, Including living rooms, bed-
rooms, family rooms, and as the story above points out, even the dining 
room. There are a few issues you want to keep in mind, though, when decid-
ing where to give a massage: 
 Privacy: It's important to respect the level of privacy the person receiv-
ing the massage desires. If possible, choose a room where you can close 
the doors to keep other people out. On the other hand, some people 
actually prefer to be less private, and they are more comfortable in an 
area with some activity. 
 Warmth: Avoid areas with a draft or air conditioning vent directly over-
head. 
 Intentions: It may be a good idea to avoid giving massage in a bedroom 
if the person receiving is not your romantic partner. That way you avoid 
possibly giving the wrong message. 
 Space: You need some space to maneuver around In — perhaps more 
than you realize. Before you begin, make sure you have enough room on 
all sides to move without disturbing your partner. 
Privacy, please 
When someone's receiving a massage, she wants to pretend that she's on a 
secluded tropical isle, with no one else around for miles. She's a Polynesian 
princess, the center of attention, and the person giving the massage is 
focused on her and her alone. Exotic birds are floating overhead, and one 
lone white sail puffs out on the aquamarine horizon ... then, suddenly, she 
hears a voice: "Bart Just threw up on my homeworki" 
Yes, it's difficult for your partner to achieve her ultimate romantic illusion if, 
in real life, she's receiving her massage on the couch in your den, with The 
Simpsons turned up full blast on the TV. 
Do your partner a favor — indulge her in her illusions. While it's not always 
possible to take a trip to Fiji to give your massage, you can avoid some of the 
more obvious distractions quite easily: 
 Turn off the TV. 
 Put up a little "Do Not Disturb" sign. 
 Try to schedul...

 
Chapter 9: Massage Moods: Getting the Setting Right 
The "massage mood" 
What I've included in this chapter so far are the external aspects of the Inner 
chamber. But, of course, when It comes to inner chambers, it's the inside that 
counts, and that's what this section is about. Even if you find yourself in a 
less-than-ideal situation to give massage, with distractions abounding, no 
music to listen to, and not a candle in sight, you can still create the most 
important aspect of that Inner chamber, the "massage mood." 
When you first lay your hands upon someone else to give them a massage, 
what do you have in your mind? Chances are, you're a little nervous, a little 
uncertain of how the other person is going to receive you. And that's all right. 
It means you care. But how about how she's feeling? You, as the giver, are in 
charge of creating the optimal mood for her experience. 
In order to create an appropriate mood for the other person, what you have 
to do first is get into that mood yourself. By imagining yourself in one of the 
following four personas as you begin a massage — saint, doctor, mother, 
buddy — you can quickly adopt the mood that goes with it. Then, you can 
give your partner something that comes from deep inside, creating the true 
inner chamber. 
Saint 
Part of giving a good massage is having some simple compassion for the 
person you're touching. We are, after all, in the same boat, each one of us 
anchored to a fragile body in an uncertain world. You can reach out to others 
when you massage them, crossing the barriers of separation, sending the 
message that you understand how they feel. This is the golden rule of most 
religions; touch others as you would have them touch you. 
Doctor 
If you're Just a beginner, you shouldn't be out there trying to "fix" your Aunt 
Jeanne's sciatica with your massage techniques. However, it helps to think in 
terms of helping the person feel better, not Just rubbing oil on. As you begin a 
massage, ima...

126 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
Touching Jos6 
(While volunteering at the University of Miarni 
Medical Center AIDS ward, (discovered that 
you can create. a caring compassionate "mas-
sage mood" anywhere, even in a sterile 
hospital room. This is the storyof JosE, whom I 
met there.) 
On the bright Christmas Eve morning that we 
entered his room, Jose's body was wracked 
with pain, and he was curled.into a fetal posi-
tion on his hospital bed. His family stood at the 
foot of the bed arranged like a choir— mother, 
father, aunts, uncles, siblings, and friends. All of 
them•with their hands at their sides, standing 
several feet away. 
Jackson Memorial Hospital did not employ Rob 
Boyte, a nurse, and me, a massage therapist. 
We were volunteers.with the P.A.LM.S. founda-
tion, and we were there to touch Jose. 
You see, nobody else would touch Jose 
because these were.the early days of AIDS and 
everyone was still afraid, even the doctors and 
the other nurses. Even the family members of 
the victims were afraid. Everyone kept his 
distance. 
Jose had received a spinal tap the night before. 
Convulsions ran through his body, up to his head 
and back down..He could only speak in broken, 
grunted syllables. His family translated for us. 
"He says he wants the massage," said one 
relative. 
"He thinks itwould feel good," said another. "Go 
ahead, try." 
We approached the bed. Both of us stood on the 
same side, facing Jose's exposed back. Rob 
gently placed one large hand on the back of 
Jose's neck, not moving it at all. I touched him, 
too. Jose didn't relax into the touch; he couldn't 
because of the convulsions. He moaned, but not 
with pleasure either like many massage clients 
do. Instead, he moaned with something deeper, 
almost like pain itself, and I knew immediately 
what it was. All of the family members knew 
what it was, too. 
Jose was letting out the primal moan of some-
one who had not been touched for along time, 
atthe point in his life when h...

Chapter 9: Massage Moods: Getting the Setting Right 127 
tiled hospital corridor. The family came flowing 
out of Jose's room one by one, their eyes wild 
with pain, filled with tears. One of the women 
looked straight into my soul then in that hallway 
for one brief second. What I saw in her eyes, 
behind the pain, was gratitude. For a brief time, 
I had become her hands and allowed her to do 
something she would never be able to do her-
self. Because now, it was too late. 
Nobody could touch Jose anymore. 
Buddy 
Don't let all this serious stuff about saints and doctors scare you away from 
giving a massage. There's another, more lighthearted, giver's personality, too, 
that of the buddy. You can Just hang out together and have some fun while 
you're exchanging massage, and that's perfectly acceptable. Go ahead, put a 
little reggae on the CD player. Tell a few Jokes to break the Ice. Relax and have 
an easy conversation during the massage. Sometimes this Is the best choice 
when your partner is apprehensive about receiving the massage. 
The story in the sidebar "Touching Jose" is an example of how, when It 
comes time to actually touch a human being, the buddy blends with the saint, 
and the mother and doctor become two sides of the same coin. 
Trading Places 
It's not that difficult to find a professional massage therapist with whom you 
can trade money for massage. Money seems to be a great motivational tool 
when it comes to getting people to massage you. It can be very tricky, how-
ever, to find an amateur. By definition, you are not going to pay the amateur, 
and therefore you must offer some other form of incentive to get him to give 
the massage. Most frequently, this Incentive comes in the form of a reciprocal 
massage. But what if that is not enough to motivate your partner? 
I'm trying not to be sexist here, but statistical evidence suggests that one 
gender in particular has motivational problems when it comes to giving mas-
sage. Yes, I'm talking abou...

1 28 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
Here are some ways to motivate a partner who is the unfortunate victim 
of TM: 
e  Suggest to him that his love life might suffer dire consequences unless 
he gives you a massage. 
 Suggest to him that his love life could be greatly enhanced were he to be 
so kind as to give you a full hour massage. 
 In exchange for the massage, offer to let him go shopping at his favorite 
store (camping store, hardware store, computer store, or whatever his 
cute little male fixation may be) and don't bug him about spending 
money there. 
 If he agrees to massage you at least three times, let him pick the destina-
tion for your next vacation (yes, even if it's bass fishing on Lake 
Okeechobee). 
Your mate is not the only person with whom you can form a massage-trade 
relationship. Other potential partners include: 
 Somebody who practices massage professionally (it may surprise you 
how many pros don't receive massage nearly as often as they'd like —
your offer to trade, although you're less experienced, is likely to be met 
with considerable enthusiasm). 
 Members of your church 
 Members of your family 
 Friends of the family 
 Members of a sports team you're on 
may be challenging at first to find a way to be comfortable trading mas-
sages. It's an admittedly intimate form of sharing, and not everyone takes to 
right away. One good alternative to jumping straight into a full body mas-
sage is to try some seated massage with the clothes still on. You may find 
plenty of non-threatening options in the chapters to come. 
EFTA00008174

Chapter 10 
All The Right Moves 
In This Chapter 
p Finding out about contraindications 
0. Building your massage muscles 
I> Doing the moves 
D Exploring massage gizmos 
• 0 • 0 0 0 • • 0 OOOOOOOOO 0 0 • • 0 0 • OOOOOOOOOOOO 0 0 • 0 0 0 0 • 0 • • 0 
yes,this is the chapter where you'll find all those massage moves that 
you can use to turn your everyday, ordinary hands into instruments of 
irresistible pleasure. Your fingertips and palms will be sought after by friends, 
family, co-workers, and complete strangers alike. Everybody will say, "Use 
some of those moves on me! Me me me me me!" 
Then, inflated by your newfound abilities and the quick expertise you acquire 
in these pages, you may find yourself thinking, like many of us did in the 
beginning, that these neat new massage moves you've learned actually are 
the massage itself. But you'd be wrong! Oh yes, very wrong. 
Massage moves are not the massage; they're just the medium. 
Let me give you an analogy to help explain this: 
Learning massage is like learning to play a musical instrument. The moves in 
this chapter are the notes on the scale, plus some basic chords and combina-
tions. They're great ways to warm up your fingers and make some 
rudimentary noises, but if you continue to play them over and over again, 
you're going to drive the people close to you crazy. 
In massage, you have to go beyond the moves pretty quickly. You need to 
develop a "moveless movement," or "flow," in which you're concentrating not 
on your own technique, but on your partner's feelings, her sensations, and 
her reactions, just like a musician who forgets all about notes and scales, 
sharps and flats, and even the instrument itself. Your movements are the 
technique, the body you massage is the instrument, and it's the interaction 
between the two that makes the music. 
EFTA00008175

130 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage 
Massage is the music, the communication, the thing that you create, NOT the 
movements required to produce the sensations. 
Whoa! Getting a little deep here, aren't we? Sorry about that. Don't worry —
the rest of this chapter's going to be very practical and concrete. After all,
you still have to learn your scales before you can play Carnegie Hall. 
Don't Do It, Mon! 
Just like the Jamaican bobsled team, you may be all fired up to go out and 
practice your new moves. Before you jump off the cliff and begin massaging 
away recklessly on anybody who lets you near them, however, stop for a 
moment to consider some sage words of advice about: 
 Conditions that you should NOT treat 
 Places you should AVOID touching 
 Moves you should NOT make 
Contraindications 
As innocuous as massage may seem, there are still times when you should 
refrain from giving one because it may adversely affect a health condition of 
the person who receives it. Contraindications is the medical term for these 
conditions, a word which, when you look at it closely, obviously means 
"Nicaraguan rebel indications." No, really, "contra" means against, as in con-
trary, and indications are things that tell you what to do one way or the other. 
So contraindications are things that are telling you not to do something. 
The list of contraindications for massage may be longer than you expect, and 
it includes some conditions that at first glance don't seem like massage 
would affect at all. Take a look: 
 Fever. When you have a fever, your body is trying to isolate and expel an 
invader of some kind. Massage increases overall circulation and could 
therefore work against your body's natural defenses. 
 Inflammation: Massage can further irritate an area of inflammation, so 
you should not administer It. Inflamed conditions include anything that 
ends in -ids, such as phlebitis (inflammation of a vein), dermatitis 
(inflammation of the skin), arthritis (infla...

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 
131 
 High blood pressure: High blood pressure means excessive pressure 
against blood vessel walls. Massage affects the blood vessels, and so 
people with high blood pressure or a heart condition should receive 
light, sedating massages, If at all. 
 Infectious &sews: Massage is not a good idea for someone coming 
down with the flu or diphtheria, for example, and to make matters 
worse, you expose yourself to the virus as well. 
 Hernia: Hernias are protrusions of part of an organ (such as the 
intestines) through a muscular wall. It's not a good idea to try and push 
these organs back inside. Surgery works better. 
 Osteoporosis: Elderly people with a severe stoop to the shoulders often 
have this condition, in which bones become porous, brittle, and fragile. 
Massage may be too intense for this condition. 
 Varicose veins: Massage directly over varicose veins can worsen the 
problem. However, if you apply a very light massage next to the prob-
lem, always in a direction toward the heart, it can be very beneficial. 
 Broken bones: Stay away from an area of mending bones. A little light 
massage to the surrounding areas, though, can improve circulation and 
be quite helpful. 
 Skin problems: You should avoid anything that looks like It shouldn't be 
there, such as rashes, wounds, bruises, burns, boils, and blisters, for 
example. Usually these problems are local, so you can still massage in 
other areas 
 Cancer: Cancer can spread through the lymphatic system, and because 
massage increases lymphatic circulation, it may potentially spread the 
disease as well. Simple, caring touch is fine, but massage strokes that 
stimulate circulation are not. Always check with a doctor first. 
 Other conditions and diseases: Diabetes, asthma, and other serious 
conditions each have their own precautions, and you should get a 
doctor's OK before administering massage. 
 HIV infection: Some people still think of AIDS as something that c...

132 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
0
  Pregnancy: Most women love to receive massage during pregnancy, and 
it's perfectly fine to give them one, but there are a few precautions to 
observe. See the sidebar about pregnancy later in this chapter. 
Just a minute here! All this makes It sound like you practically have to get a 
medical checkup and an OK from the doctor before giving someone a mas-
sage, doesn't it? Well, in many cases, that's exactly what it means. Always err 
on the side of caution when you're considering giving a massage to a person 
with any health concerns. Check it out with his or her physician first. 
The first and foremost rule here is, "Do no harm." If you're not sure about a 
particular condition, don't give the massage. 
Bad moves 
%NG/ 
Ever watch an infant pet a cat? They often have the best of intentions, but 
they just can't seem to get it right. Wham! Wham! goes the beefy little hand 
on top of the cat's head, and the poor feline scurries away before the Infant 
does any serious damage. Similarly, there are moves that you should not 
make during a massage, no matter how good your Intentions are. They all 
cause discomfort, and some of them may even cause harm. 
Pregnancy — a contraindication? 
There are some people who believe that 
pregnant women should not receive massage. 
Most of these people, needless to say, are not 
pregnant women, whose backs and legs are 
oftenquite sore, and who love massage. There's 
a section in Chapter 18 on this topic, but for now 
I want to put your mind at ease and say that it's 
perfectly okay to massage a pregnant woman, 
as long as you observe a few simple precautiOns: 
 Always make sure her legs and head are 
supported with pillows. 
 Never put her in a face-down position to 
massage her. In her last trimester, she 
should lie only on her side. 
 Only light gliding strokes should be used 
directly on the abdomen. Don't press 
directly onto or knead in this area. 
ao Always give soothing, re...

 
Chapter10: All the Right Moves 
133 
 Neck pulling: Do not grasp the head firmly and pull upward, attempting 
to lengthen the neck (some people say this is what happened to Audrey 
Hepburn). 
 Neck twisting: Only a very gentle and slow turning of the neck to one 
side or the other is appropriate during massage. No sudden movements! 
 Neck pulling and twisting together. Never ever, for any reason, pull and 
twist the neck at the same time. This can be very dangerous. 
 Bone cracking: Never ever try to do a chiropractic-type adjustment if 
you haven't been trained as a ... duh . .. chiropractor. 
 Bone pushing: Don't press directly on bones, especially the spine. 
Instead, glide lightly over these areas. 
 Hyperextension: Basic stretches are okay, and f explain several in 
Chapters 11 and 16. However, don't try to hyperextend any joint past its 
normal range-of-motion unless you receive some serious schooling in 
massage. This is hard to do with the knee or elbow, which resist such 
maneuvers, but you can easily hyperextend the neck, for example, so 
you need to use caution. 
Danger zones 
"Endangerment sites" are super-sensitive areas on the body. These areas con-
tain important pieces of your anatomy, like nerves and blood supply, for 
example, in exposed and vulnerable positions. Highly trained massage thera-
pists can sometimes work In these areas, but if you're not a professional 
massage ace yourself, it's better to stay away from the following spots: 
 Front of the neck/throat You've heard of the expression, "Go for the 
jugular," right? Well, this is where you find it. Unless you're trying to 
choke someone, it's a good idea to stay away from this area that also 
contains the carotid artery and major nerves. 
 Side of the neck: Not quite as sensitive as the front of the neck, you 
should still treat it delicately. 
 The "ear notch": Just behind your jawbone and beneath your ear you 
find a little notch. It's not a good idea to jam a finger into this...

134 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
 The upper inner arm: Just down from the armpit, along the inside of the 
upper arm, is a sensitive, nerve-filled area along the length of the arm 
bone. Pressing here too firmly gives you that yucky-nervy feeling. 
 The ulnar notch of the elbow: Otherwise known as the "funny bone," 
this spot contains the ulnar nerve which, if you touch it too hard, causes 
normally discreet people to curse in several languages. 
 The abdomen: Houdini was killed by an unsuspected punch to this area, 
which is filled with many squishy important bits known as organs. Be 
especially gentle around the upper abdomen along the ribs, where you 
find the liver, gall bladder, and spleen. 
 The lower back: Just to both sides of the spine, and below the ribs, is 
where you find the kidneys. Don't press too hard here or pound on 
them. Kidneys don't like it when you do that. 
 The femoral triangle: Not to be confused with the Bermuda triangle, 
this area is often referred to as the "groin." It's the inner part of the line 
in front where your leg meets your body. If you press too hard here, you 
can actually cut off circulation to the leg. 
 Popliteal area Popularly known as the back of the knee, you should 
always treat this spot gingerly. It's very sensitive to pressure. 
Please don't do that 
The ultimate contraindication Is a request from the person receiving the mas-
sage that you stop doing what you're doing. Immediately. Quit it. No more! 
When a person says, "Please don't do that," then don't do that. This is espe-
cially true for well-meaning beginners, who have a tendency to press ever 
forward with their newfound massage skills, in spite of the complaints issuing 
forth from the poor soul beneath their fingers. 
The following Is NOT proper etiquette: 
Massage partner: "It really hurts!" 
You: "Oh no, it doesn't. That's just your tension melting away. Visualize your 
muscles as butter ...." 
In massage, more than any other business, the...

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 735
Body language clues 
Some people think that when they're getting a massage they have to "grin 
and bear it" when something hurts. They figure massage is like a form of tor-
ture, and they're prisoners of war. They certainly aren't going to display any 
signs of weakness or let you know you're hurting them. Other people may not 
even know they're uncomfortable, because their discomfort is unconscious, 
and so they can't communicate it to you. 
In these cases, wise massage givers have figured out certain non-verbal clues 
that they can use to determine when their massage Is too strong. These Include: 
 Curling of the toes 
 Arching the back 
 Inability to speak in a normal tone 
 Facial grimaces and contortions 
 Excess sweating, especially in a cool room 
So, what should you do when your partner starts showing signs of discom-
fort? The answer is simple — talk about it. Simple, straightforward 
communication clears up most situations immediately. Some people just 
won't be able to believe that you honestly want them to tell you how they 
feel. Go ahead, surprise them. 
The one word never to say when 
you're giving a massage 
You can get away with almost any kind of ama-
teur commentary while giving a massage to 
friends and family because, after all, they under-
stand that you're an amateur. Thus, when you 
say, "Geez, am I pressing too hard there?" 
they're likelyto respond with some positive crit-
icism. However, there is one particular word 
that neither amateurs nor professionals should 
ever utter while in the middle of giving a mas-
sage. Hearing it strikes fear into the poor 
vulnerable person lying there receiving. And 
that word is ... 
"oops." 
Like a surgeon saying "oops" in the middle of an 
operation, or a pilot saying "oops" while making 
the approach for landing, your saying "oops" in 
the middle of a massage, although hopefully not 
life-threatening, simply doesn't inspire confi-
dence. It may lead some peopl...

136 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage 
Building Your Massage Muscles 
Massage requires the sustained dexterous use of certain muscles in your 
hands, forearms, shoulders, and in fact your entire body. You may not be 
using these muscles for any particular purpose right now. Like any other 
muscles that come suddenly into use, they may get sore when you begin 
using them. Don't be alarmed, as this is natural. 
Here's a list of a few exercises and devices that massage pros sometimes use 
to help build massage muscles: 
 "Walking" a quarter. Balance a quarter on your thumb. By using only 
the one hand, try to turn it over onto the top of your index finger. If you 
succeed, then try to flip it over onto your middle finger, and so on. When 
you get good, you can walk the quarter over all four fingers and catch it 
with the thumb again from below. 
 Finger dancing: First, hold your hand in front of your face, with your 
palm facing away from you. Keeping your thumb out of the way, hold all 
four fingers loosely together. This is the starting position. Next, separate 
your fingers down the middle, two on each side. This position is shown 
in Figure 10-1. Finally, bring those fingers back together again, and then 
take just the pinkie finger and index finger away from the center. This 
position is also shown in Figure 10-1. Practice until you can repeat these 
steps over and over in a continuous loop. 
 Fingertip pushups: For you fitness fanatics, try doing some fingertip 
pushups; these not only strengthen your fingers for massage, but you 
receive the added benefit of some powerful exercise. Be careful not to 
overdo it, and always check with a physician before starting a new exer-
cise regime. 
 Grape squeezing: In order to sensitize your fingers for delicate massage 
moves, you can practice squishing grapes. Simply place a grape between 
your thumb and your first two fingers and squeeze till you burst the 
skin. Practice squeezing new grapes until they're just abo...

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 737 
hand muscles, too. There's even a special compound made just for this 
purpose, called "power putty," that is sold in massage stores. 
Po Dumbbells: Lighter weight dumbbells (5-12 pounds) are great for build-
ing muscles in the forearms and wrists. Simply sit on a bench with the 
dumbbell in one hand, support your forearm across the top of your leg, 
palm up, then curl and extend the forearm. 
Figure 10-1: 
This simple 
finger 
exercise is 
harder than 
it looks, and 
it's great for 
budding hand 
strength and 
coordination. 
You Got 'eta Moves 
So, what do you actually do when you place your hands on a body and start 
giving a massage? Well, the first thing many people do is panic. They stand 
there with their hands motionless on an arm or a leg or a back, and they 
think to themselves, "Oh my gosh, what do I do now?" 
This is where the seven types of massage moves you find in this section 
come in handy. After practicing them, you can rest easy that you won't draw 
a blank when it comes time to give a massage. 
EFTA00008183

138 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage 
_et  Vitt 
Feeling versus doing 
Massage is as much (or morel about feeling as 
it is about doing. In fact, without really doing 
anything, you can still give a good massage. 
Through simple touch alone, you can have a 
profound effect on somebody else. 
When I was in massage school, during the very 
first day in class, the instructor had us do a little 
experiment, which you can try for yourself. 
Have your partner sit barefoot in front of you. 
Gently grasp one of her feet in your hands, and 
then DON'T DO ANYTHING. Just feel.-Feel her 
foot, the weight of it in your hands, the contours 
of it against your fingers and palms, its warmth, 
the pulse of the blood. Resist any temptation to 
squeeze or press or knead. 
After just five or ten minutes, slowly pull your 
hands away and ask your partner to note the 
feeling in both of her feet. Almost everyone 
notices a large difference; the touched foot 
feels as thoughit's been vigorously massaged. 
It's tingling and alive. 
All you had to do to achieve that effect was to 
feel. No need to do anything at all. 
The seven basic categories of movements are: 
 Gliding 
 Pressing 
 Kneading 
 Rubbing 
 Shaking 
 Tapping 
 Stretching 
Slip-sliding away: The pleasures of gliding 
Usually the first move you make on any particular part of the body is gliding. 
Why glide first, you say? Why not Just get right to the pressing and muscle-
squeezing part of the massage? Three reasons: 
 Gliding is a great way to warm up the skin and underlying muscles while 
simultaneously spreading your oil or massage cream. 
 You cover a lot of territory during a glide, too, so it's perfect for "Intro-
ducing" your hands to your partner. 
 You'll get a feel for your partner's body and discover which areas may 
need the most attention during the rest of the massage. 
EFTA00008184

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 139 
Figure 10-2: 
Long, soft, 
light gliding 
(top); sliding-
down-the-
banister 
gliding 
(middle); 
squeezing-
toothpaste-
through-a-
tube gliding 
(bottom). 
Depending upon the amount of pressure you use, a glide can be light and 
ethereal or downright intense. Usually, at the beginning of a massage, you 
want to start with lighter gliding and then progress to the more heavy-duty 
stuff later, after your partner trusts your touch. 
Take a look at Figure 10-2. These pictures make gliding look easy, right? What 
could be simpler than just running your hands along someone's skin? It's a 
little trickier than that, though. Good gliding is something you learn over 
time, with practice. 
Ait 
EFTA00008185

140 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage 
Here are three basic types of gliding: 
 Long, soft, light: You can create the lightest type of gliding by just barely 
brushing the fingertips or palms across the skin in a feather-light fash-
ion. This type of movement is also known as a nerve-stroke because it 
calms the nerves. 
 Sliding down the banister: This movement follows the contours of the 
body more closely. As you glide, you mold your hands to fit the body, 
just like a little kid who molds himself to fit over the banister as he 
slides down it Into the foyer. This is typical gliding, the type you use to 
spread oil, warm the body, and so on. 
 Squeezing toothpaste through a tube: This is intense gliding or gliding 
with an attitude. When you try it on your partner for the first time, you 
may get a stunned reaction. You achieve this by wrapping your hands 
around a leg or an arm and squeezing firmly while you glide, as if you 
were trying to squeeze toothpaste from a giant tube. The most typical 
places for this maneuver are on the calf and the forearm. 
Start out slowly, and always, always make the motions toward the heart 
because you actually move blood through the veins with this move. 
Watch out for the contraindications of varicose veins and phlebitis. 
Good places to glide 
You can glide just about anywhere there's an expanse of skin to move over. 
Tight little nooks and crannies, like between the toes for example, are not 
good places to glide because there's not enough open territory. However, you 
can still glide on smaller surfaces, even over the eyelids (provided your part-
ner is not wearing contact lenses). Simply adjust your hands to the area you 
are touching. Thus, a forehead glide would include Just your fingertips, while 
a glide to the leg would include your whole palm. 
For all types of gliding, you need to turn your hands into super-sensitive, 
micro-adjusting instruments that constantly change to conform to each and 
every little hill ...

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 141
So, what is the "spot" anyway? Massage pros have all kinds of fancy names 
for it, like "trigger points," or muscle spasms, or adhesions. Whatever you 
call them, these points of tension or pain are what we're trying to get rid of in 
massage, and pressing on them skillfully can help achieve that. 
I envision these spots as tenacious little criminals who invade our bodies and 
take some of our muscles hostage. They're tough, resourceful, and they 
thrive best when we don't know exactly where to find them. Massage helps 
us locate where our tension spots are hiding so we can ferret them out. Just 
the right amount of pressure can send them this message: 
"It's no use. We know you're in there. Come out with your hands up. Let the 
hostages go, and you'll get off easy" 
Of course, if the "spots" don't leave your muscles alone, you have to go in 
with some heavy firepower. That's where pressing comes in. Here are a few 
steps you can follow to find spots and press them into submission: 
 Zeroing in: First, while you're warming the tissues up during your pre-
liminary gliding strokes, feel for areas that are unusually tight, hard, or 
sensitive. (See the "Under pressure" sidebar in Chapter 8.) After you're 
done gliding over a certain area, come back to these targeted spots one 
at a time and zero in on them by using Just your fingertips or thumbs. 
 Pushing the walk button: You know those little rubberized buttons that 
you push to change the light to green at intersections? They give a little 
at first, but then you get the feeling that you have to push harder. You 
can't quite tell if you're holding it down or not, so you hold it in firmly 
for a few seconds, much longer than you'd hold, say, the on/off switch 
on a desk lamp. Well, that's the same kind of pressing you can use in 
your massage — good, firm, sustained pressure is what makes pressing 
work, as shown in Figure 10-3. 
 Pinpoint.pressure: You not only need the right...

142 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage 
 You have to practice feeling for these points (this is the art of palpation, 
which you find out about In Chapter 4). 
 Certain points are common to most people. After you practice on several 
willing massage partners, you'll build your skill in locating them. 
Figure 10-3: 
Finger 
pressing 
(top) and 
thumb 
pressing 
(bottom). 
is W. WI 
The spots we are talking about in this section are not shiatsu points or acu-
pressure points, which are spots along energy pathways in the body. You 
get to know a few shiatsu points In Chapter 11; the spots we're talking 
about here are occasionally found in the same areas, but they're a different 
animal altogether. 
Let's do the twist: kneading 
After you master the art of kneading, you may be in great demand because 
kneading, in my opinion, produces the most pleasurable sensations of all the 
maneuvers. It gets in deep to flush out tension while at the same time stimu-
lating a large surface area on the skin. 
EFTA00008188

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 143 
Your kneading technique can make or break you as a massage giver, so I recom-
mend practicing quite a bit on this one. If you practice building your massage 
muscles, as suggested earlier in this chapter, you can be a better kneader 
because this particular maneuver requires a lot of strength in the hands. 
In order to knead effectively, you must banish fear! The biggest mistake 
novice kneaders make is kneading too tentatively. As a massage teacher, I've 
spent hundreds of hours hunched over students guiding their hands into 
bigger movements. "Get more flesh between those fingers!" I cajole them. 
"Twist your arms around some more. Use your whole body to make the 
movement." 
This is good advice for you, too. A wimpy knead is much worse than no 
knead at all. Here are some ways to make your kneading big, bold, and 
beloved by all who encounter it: 
 Come on everybody, let's do the Twist: Chubby Checker would have 
been disappointed if he looked• out on the dance floor to find dozens of 
people just standing there and sort of half-heartedly bending a little at 
the waist. When he said twist, he meant Twist!, as in twist-tie and twist-
off-top and wow-look-at-that-twister-about-to-destroy-the-barn! The 
number one rule for kneading is to use your whole body to create a 
twisting movement around the area you're working on. See Figure 10-4, 
which shows how your hands can move around a thigh in a circular 
wringing motion. 
 Baker making bread: Of course, when we think of kneading, the image 
of a baker often comes to mind, with his hands wrist-deep in pliable 
flour, constantly squeezing, rolling, and pushing. In fact, those are the 
three components of a successful knead. After you have twisting down, 
add these steps to complete the picture: 
• Squeezing: During your twist, the hand that's furthest away (the 
right hand as shown in Figure 10-5a) is squeezing in as much flesh 
as possible between the fingers and palms. 
• Rol...

744 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
Figure 10-4: 
Notice how 
your hands, 
arms, shoul-
ders, and 
entire body 
move 
around the 
area you are 
kneading. 
Figure 10-5: 
Squeez-
ing (a), 
rolling (b), 
pushing (c), 
and pinch-
ing and 
rolling (dl. 
Good places to knead 
By definition, to knead something means you have to grasp it between your 
fingers or palms. Therefore, areas of the body that you can't grasp, you can't 
knead. It's simple: no flesh, no knead. That's why it's trickier to knead skinny 
people than to knead fleshy people. That's why it's trickier to knead a knee 
than to knead a thigh. That doesn't mean you need to knead a whole handful 
EFTA00008190

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 145 
of flesh to get the Job done, though. You can perform the last type of knead-
ing, skin rolling, even on areas with almost no fat, like a supermodel's upper 
back, for instance. 
War on, war off: Rubbing 
The secret to successful rubbing, or friction as massage pros call it, is to 
make the pressure from your fingers or palms strong enough to stay station-
ary on the surface of the skin while moving the layers below.. In other words, 
your fingers don't glide while they rub, although they can definitely move 
around quite a bit. Take, for example, the maneuvers you receive on your 
head when you get a shampoo at a salon. A good shampoo person employs 
friction techniques, holding her fingers steady on a certain part of your scalp 
while manipulating your head beneath it. If she simply glides her fingers 
across your scalp, the sensation is disturbingly inadequate. 
Mother analogy for rubbing is waxing your car. You take a buffing pad in one 
hand and you rub the wax on. Then with a rag in the other hand, you rub the 
wax off. Your fingers are never in contact with the car itself, but the car 
receives the effects, not the buffing pad or rags. So It is with massage. Your 
fingers are in contact with the skin, but you're affecting the layers below. 
Here are a few rubbing techniques that work well for various parts of the body: 
 Miser's rub: Especially good for the fingers and toes, the miser's rub will 
remind you of someone rubbing a gold coin between their fingers, as 
shown in Figure 10-6a. 
 Circular Making sure your fingers are planted securely, move the skin 
over the tissues below it in small circles, as shown in Figure 10-6b. You 
can move your hand gradually along the skin's surface, creating a series 
of circles over an entire area. 
NAM? 
 Cross fiber. In any given area of the body, the muscle fibers are running 
predominantly in one direction or another. On the inside of your upper 
arm, for instance, the biceps ...

766 Part 
The Art of Giving Massage  
Figure 104: 
The miser's 
rub (a), the 
circular rub 
(b), and the 
cross-fiber 
rub (c). 
Shake, rattle, and roll: Shaking 
Some people are afraid to get too "physical" when they give a massage, which 
doesn't make much sense when you think about it. They Incorrectly assume 
that every massage move has to be as smooth and soothing as the next CD 
from Enya. But this is not true. Some of the best moves actually jostle you 
around quite a bit. 
You have to imagine what the shaking is actually doing internally to the mus-
cles, tendons, and bones where they attach to each other inside the body. It's 
like loosening fruit from a tree. Imagine that you're standing on the ground in 
front of an apple tree, and one big perfect juicy apple is still left just barely 
clinging to a high branch. Grasping a lower limb, you shake with the intention 
of loosening something at a distance from you. This is the essence of shaking 
in massage, too. 
Of course, you don't want to literally loosen muscles from bone so that they 
fall off, but you do want to help ease the muscles' tight grip of chronic ten-
sion, especially in the joints. Shaking is great for this, and there's a fine art to 
it. Here are three different versions that you can practice: 
EFTA00008192

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 147 
Vibration 
No other massage move feels quite as dramatic as vibration. It's a show biz 
move, a move with pizzazz. But first of all, you have to figure out how to do it, 
which isn't that easy for most of us. Here are the steps (and see Figure 10-7): 
 Placing just your fingertips on the area to be vibrated (try the back, 
which is easiest to start with), stiffen all of your joints from your fingers 
all the way up to your shoulders. 
 Try making your entire arm tremble as one unit, as if you were extremely 
cold and shivering uncontrollably. 
 Pressing firmly, concentrate all of that trembling down into your 
fingertips. 
 Simultaneously, drag your fingertips slowly down over your partner's 
back, remembering to imagine your movements loosening muscles all 
along the way. 
Figure 10-7: 
Creating 
high speed 
vibration 
takes con-
centration 
and a will-
ingness to 
look spastic. 
Be careful not to vibrate a fingertip directly on top of the spine as you may 
cause some discomfort or bruising. 
Shaking 
In this move, you grasp one part of your partner's body (usually a limb) and 
then recreate the same kind of rigid trembling you did for vibration. It can be 
a slower trembling, though, even languid, but the intent is still to loosen deep 
muscles. See Figure 10-8. 
EFTA00008193

145 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
Figure 10-8: 
Shaking is 
similar to 
vibration, 
but you 
grasp 
instead of 
press. 
Rocking & rolling 
A doctor named Milton Trager developed a kind of massage called, appropri-
ately, Trager, which includes an awful lot of rocking and rolling, as shown In 
Figure 10-9. One of the results of a really good Trager massage is a deep 
release of tension from areas that you wouldn't be able to get to with your fin-
gers, like deep inside Joints. You can recreate some of the effects of this type 
of massage by doing some very gentle rocking and rolling of your own. You 
find out more about how to apply this to specific areas In the next chapter. 
Figure 10-t 
Rocking and 
rolling pro-
duces an 
effect on the 
surrounding 
muscles and 
distant 
joints as 
well. 
EFTA00008194

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 149 
Good places to shake 
The limbs respond exceptionally well to shaking. However, if you shake the 
head, you're coming dangerously dose to a chiropractic maneuver, which Is a 
definite no-no. 
Larger areas such as the back and thighs respond well to vibration, and you 
can rock the whole body, especially when your partner is lying face down. 
Get into the rhythm: Tapping 
This is the type of movement that you see movie actors performing when 
they think they're doing some really authentic massage on-screen. It also 
seems to be the preferred move for overweight Russian men giving massages 
In bathhouses. Yes, I'm talking about the famous karate-chop family of mas-
sage maneuvers, otherwise known as tapping. 
This family of moves is based upon one major concept: getting pounded on 
feels surprisingly good. This Is true, as long as you tap judiciously, with the 
right amount of pressure. To achieve seasoned tapping prowess, practice 
with the three basic hand-shapes for tapping: the open fingertip, the karate 
hack, and the loose fist. All of them are done with "soft" hands because, after 
all, your intention is not to attack ninja-style but to increase circulation and 
soothe sore muscles. 
The secret to all good tapping is the rhythm. If you're not a natural born 
drummer, try slowing your tapping down until you reach a rhythm that you 
can sustain easily. It's not speed that counts, but consistency. 
 Fingertip tapping: This is the lightest tap, excellent for faces and the 
top of your head. A lot of cosmetologists use this move to bring extra 
circulation to the cheeks, creating that "rosy glow" look. Tapping is 
shown in Figure 10-10a. 
 Karate hacking: Make sure to keep the hands limp and not treat your 
partner's body like a board you're trying to break. Don't hack directly 
on bony areas, of course. Keep your wrists loose and let the edges of 
your flopping fingers do a lot of the hacking for you, as shown in 
Figure 10-...

750 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
Figurate-Ilk 
Fingertip 
tapping (a), 
karate hack-
ing (b), and 
loose fist 
pounding (c). 
Good places to tap 
Tapping feels good Just about anywhere, but if you tap someone too hard on 
the top of his head, he's likely to think you have something against him. The 
usual rule is: the more flesh in an area, the more force you can tap with, pro-
gressing up the scale from fingertips to hacking hands to loose fists. Bony 
areas like the knees need light tapping with Just the fingertips. Also, go 
EFTA00008196

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 151 
feather-light on the kidney area on either side of the spine in the lower back. 
Certain spots you may not think of, like the bottom of the feet for example, 
are great places to hack. And of course the ever-popular back, buttocks, and 
thighs are great places to practice "getting into the rhythm." 
keep it tone: Stretching 
Stretching is really good for you, and a lot of people don't stretch as much as 
they should In order to stay limber and youthful. You can help solve this 
problem by incorporating a few stretching moves right into your massage. 
Stretching feels really good as long as you follow three easy guidelines: 
 Ease your partner Into it. 
 Easy does It while you're doing it. 
 Ease your partner out of it. 
Remember that each joint has a limit as to how far it will stretch in any and 
all possible directions, and this limit is called its range of motion. 
Don't try stretching any part of the body past its normal range of motion 
because, if you do, it will hurt. A lot. Stop long before you think you reach the 
maximum stretch. Always ask your partner for feedback about how the 
stretch feels. Some people are super limber and you can twist them like pret-
zels while others can take very little stretching before it becomes 
uncomfortable. 
Be especially careful when stretching your partner's neck, moving it slowly 
and in only one plane at a time: left to right, up and down, or ear to shoulder. 
And don't hyperextend the neck, or any joint for that matter. (See the con-
traindications section earlier in this chapter.) 
There are three basic types of stretches you can apply during a massage: 
 Passive stretching: Passive stretching doesn't mean you should have a 
ho-hum attitude about the stretch. It means your partner just lies there 
passively and doesn't assist you at all while you stretch him, as shown 
in Figure 10-11. 
 Active assisted stretching: This type of stretching, shown in Figure 
10-12, requires yo...

152 Part III: The Art of Giving. Massage 
yr Active resisted stretching: In this one, your partner resists the move-
ment of the stretch that you're giving him. When he stops resisting, you 
are able to stretch him even further. This one's good for strengthening 
muscles and can be considered a kind of mini-workout. 
Figure10-11: 
In this pas-
sive stretch 
of the knee 
and thigh, 
you press 
the person's 
ankle 
toward her 
buttock 
while she 
just lies 
there letting 
it happen. 
Figure 10.12 
In active 
assisted 
stretching, 
you help 
your partner 
stretch a 
little further. 
Good places to stretch 
The multitude of joints in the body make it possible to do a large variety of 
Joint manipulations and stretches in many areas such as the toes, ankles, 
knees, hips, shoulders, elbows, wrists, and hands. You find out about a few 
all-time favorite stretches in the chapters to come. 
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Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 153 
Massage moves in a nutshell 
Here are some simple general guidelines that you can apply to all the preced-
ing maneuvers and use in every massage you give: 
 Follow the contour. When in doubt about what particular move to 
make, just trace the body's outlines with your fingers for a few moments, 
applying pressure according to what you feel. It's better to keep moving 
in a constant flow rather than stop and say something like, "Now, what 
was that next maneuver again?" This can be annoying to your partner. 
 Do no harm: Don't press too hard or work on areas that may be too deli-
cate, such as sprains, strains, or scar tissues soon after injuries. Of 
course, avoid all contraindicated areas and conditions. Ask for a physi-
cian's advice if there is anything that gives you concern. 
 Stay in the moment: The easiest way to look at a massage is piece by 
piece. Concentrate on one movement at a time, and one area. Work on 
just that leg first, and worry about what you're going to do on the arm 
later. One move at a time, one after another, creates a whole massage. 
A ticklish situation 
Some people out there will flat-out refuse to 
even consider the possibility of getting a mas-
sage because they're afraid they would giggle 
so hard they would fall right off the table. These 
folks consider themselves "ticklish," but what is 
a ticklish person anyway? Most of us are sensi-
tive when we get poked in the ribs or stroked 
lightly on the bottom of the feet, but some people 
claim any kind of touch at all elicits the "tickle 
response." 
When someone complains of being overly tick-
lish, you can follow these steps to help them get 
over it: 
1. First, explain that surface tension in the 
muscles causes excessive ticklishness. 
2. Explain that you are going to get "under-
neath" this layer by applying firm pressure 
that affects tissues below. 
3. Gradually apply pressure with as broad a 
surface as possible, for example, your 
entire ...

754 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
The Massage Dance 
So, you may be asking yourself, what am I supposed to be doing with the rest 
of my body while my hands are massaging someone? Good question. Can you 
guess the right answer? 
A. It doesn't matter, as long as you remain in a generally upright position 
and don't fall asleep. 
B. Something constructive, such as learning a foreign language with audio-
cassettes, because otherwise you're just wasting your time. 
C. Absolutely nothing; stay as stiff and still as possible so you don't dis-
tract the person you are massaging. 
D. Make every move a "whole body move" by engaging your entire self In 
what you're doing, turning the massage into a dance. 
The answer, of course, is "D." In fact, it's so important to use your entire body 
properly while giving a massage that massage pros have given this practice a 
name — body mechanics. 
It may seem like a lot of extra effort at first, but in the long run It's easier If 
you use proper body mechanics and engage your entire body while giving a 
massage rather than relying on the strength of your arms and shoulders 
alone. Actually, using your arms and shoulders alone is guaranteed to burn 
you out really quickly. You may end up saying something like "This is WAY 
too difficult." Then you may quit, offering muscle-fatigue as an excuse to your 
partner after Just ten minutes. 
Here are a few guidelines to help you fine-tune your body mechanics: 
r  Root yourself•. Your movements should feel like they're coming from the 
place where your body Is rooted to the earth. Don't get off balance and 
lose your center of power. You need to ground yourself enough so that 
It's difficult to knock you over when you're giving a massage. 
 Move from below: Whether you're standing or kneeling down next to 
your partner to give the massage, generate your movements from your 
legs and hips, not Just your upper body, as shown in Figure 10-13. 
 Maintain straight lines: When you apply pr...

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 155 
Figure 10-13: 
If you're 
standing, 
keep your 
knees soft 
and move 
from your 
hips. If 
you're 
kneeling, 
still move 
from your 
hips. 
Figure 10-14: 
The wrong 
way (top) 
and the right 
way 
(bottom) to 
apply 
pressure. 
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156 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
 Be kind to your thumbs and wrists: Thumbs take the biggest beating 
when giving a massage, and wrists come in a close second. Be extra 
careful not to rely only on these delicate instruments to do your heavy-
duty massage work. Give them a break every once in a while by using 
your knuckles and forearms. 
 Lean a lot: Instead of straining your muscles to get the job done, use 
your body weight. Simply LEAN on the person you're massaging by plac-
ing your center of gravity several Inches away from her, then falling 
forward and supporting yourself on her body. This takes a little practice 
because our civilized instincts tell us not to use other people's bodies as 
counter tops. Go ahead and try it, though. It saves you a lot of work. 
Massage Gizmos 
Ever wander around inside one of those expensive gadget gift shops like the 
Sharper Image and suddenly realize that about a quarter of the inventory is 
massage gizmos of one kind or another? They have vibrating chairs, tables 
with rollers built in, and devices to buzz you, press you, knead you, jab you, 
and squeeze you. Seeing all this, you can definitely come to a couple very 
important conclusions: 
D
 Massage gizmos are a great way for manufacturers and retailers to make 
lots of money. 
 Massage gizmos are a great way for you to spend lots of money. 
So, naturally, the question comes to mind — are they worth it? In my opinion, 
most of them are. And, fortunately, they don't all cost tons of money either. 
You can get a nifty little massage device at your local pharmacy for $12.95. 
There are three main reasons why people use massage gizmos: 
1. They're fun and kind of neat looking. 
2. They can help save your hands a lot of work. 
3. They actually make you feel better. 
Often, people overlook reason number 3. This is strange, because that's the 
whole point of using them, right? The little gizmos can really make you feel 
better, but you should also exercise the sam...

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 157 
Whoops, I said that kind of loudly, didn't I? Maybe even some of the gizmo 
makers heard. But it's true. Don't take my word for it. Go out in the backyard 
and grab a smooth, palm-sized rock. Wash it off, of course. Then have some-
one take a rounded end and gently rub it against your back muscles. Wow! 
Feels fantastic, doesn't it? 
The truth is that you don't really need these custom-made massage doohick-
eys, but all sorts of neat designs are out there, and some of them, admittedly, 
feel quite a bit better than rocks from your backyard. The ones that apply 
vibration and pressure are especially effective. Everybody should have at 
least one such gizmo in his or her home. But which one are you going to 
choose when there are so many shapes and sizes available, as shown in 
Figure 10-15? This section attempts to make a little sense of the whole mas-
sage device market for you by breaking it down into three categories: 
gravity-assisted gizmos, pressure tools, and mechanical devices. 
Figure 10-15: 
The choice 
of massage 
gizmos con-
tinues to 
grow. 
Gravity-assisted gizmos 
These tools utilize your own weight to massage various parts of your body: 
*WO 
 Foot rollers: There are many of these, and most of them look basically 
like wooden cigars: stubby, brown, and round. Some have grooves 
etched into their surface, and others have a series of interconnected 
rolling balls. By running your feet over them, you stimulate nerve end-
ings and reflexology points (see Chapter 14 for more on this). You can 
even buy sandals with hundreds of tiny knobs on the soles that massage 
your feet as you walk. 
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755 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
 Back rollers: Several versions are available. They look similar to the 
rolling pin your mom used to use to make pie crusts. The most famous is 
the Ma Roller, which has two bumps in the center that are placed on 
either side of your spine. The instructions say not to roll your back 
down over the knobs, but that's what everyone does, because that's 
what feels the best and has the most profound effect. Be careful when 
using these not to accidentally roll hard wood onto your spine itself. 
 Stretchers: We all need to stretch, and sometimes we could use a little 
help from devices like the "body bridge" which is basically a curved 
table that you bend over backwards on, letting gravity do the stretching. 
 Body Balancer: A massage pro named Grace Apfel in California, trying to 
recreate the support and flexibility she offered clients with her own 
hands, created the device shown in Figure 10-16. You fill the holes with 
pegs of different heights that you adjust to your particular needs, then 
lie down upon them and just relax It's a good way to let gravity do the 
work in easing some of your back pains for you. 
Figure 10-16: 
Massage 
gizmos have 
become 
more and 
more elabo-
rate in 
recent 
years. 
Pressure toots 
All sorts of devices are available now that you rub on the body with varying 
degrees of pressure. You can get them in specialty shops, but they're increas-
ingly available in more common outlets such as drug stores. Basically, they 
stimulate acupressure points and trigger points. You can use them to exert 
pressure on tough knots and sore spots. But be careful: The materials used in 
these tools are usually hard, like stone or wood. Just a little pressure goes a 
long way. 
EFTA00008204

 
Chapter 10: All the Right Moves 159 
 Little knobby things: Many little odd-shaped items are now sold that 
you're supposed to rub across your body (or somebody else's body) for 
fun, pleasure, and relief from stress. Some of them even have names and 
personalities, like the Happy Massager from the Tender Loving Things 
Company, Inc. or the Dolphin Massager. You can even order a Handy 
massage tool from the back of this book, designed by yours truly. It's a 
hand-shaped instrument with a perky personality that you can use when 
your own hands are too tired or not in the mood to give a massage. All of 
these utilize the same simple concept: Pressing on people makes them 
feel better. Try them, you'll like them. 
 "Captain Hook" devices: Ever wish you could rubberize your arms and 
reach around to massage a knot in the middle of your back? That, in 
essence, is what these curved devices allow you to do. You can use them 
to hook onto otherwise unreachable tight spots on your posterior sur-
face. Popular brands Include the Backnobber and the Thera Cane. 
 Professional pressure tools: There are certain tools that you can only 
get in massage clinics that are meant for professional use. One particular 
device looks like a sharpened pencil eraser stuck into the side of a 
wooden peg. Neuromuscular therapists use them to work on deep tis-
sues. If you find professional tools somewhere, you're better off not 
buying them. They can cause harm if not used by skilled hands. 
 Rubbing gloves: Several brands of textured gloves are now available. 
You slip them on and then apply pressure and friction over the skin. The 
gloves both exfoliate the skin and stimulate nerve endings. They feel 
great, too. 
Mechanics! devices 
There are many mechanical devices on the market that utilize electricity to 
create vibration and kneading actions. They range in price from just a few 
bucks to major capital investments. 
 Thumper. This is probably the best-known in its class, and its n...

160 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage 
 Shiatsu massager. This type of unit has kneading lingers" built into it. 
You put it behind you in a chair and lean back against it. According to 
many reports, they can work wonders. Greg, a Journalist friend of mine, 
swears by his. He has a back problem that is exacerbated by long hours 
sitting at the computer, and he credits his Shiatsu massager for saving 
his career. 
 Massage furniture: Panasonic and other well-known manufacturers have 
gotten in on the massage game with electronic chairs and tables that 
give you a massage while you recline on them. These are fun items to 
have around the house, but the novelty often wears off pretty quickly, 
and before too long you're left with a slightly odd lumpy piece of expen-
sive furniture. 
The best gizmo of aft 
When it comes to any of these gadgets, the bottom line Is this — they are fun, 
helpful, and neat, but no amount of technology or ingenuity can create a tool 
more adaptable, powerful, or sensitive than the human hand. Even the device 
makers themselves know this. Living Earth Crafts, one of the largest massage 
manufacturers In the world, has a slogan: "There is no substitute for the 
human touch." 
Tom Myers, a famed anatomy teacher and structural massage expert, agrees. 
Holding his own hand up for inspection, he often comments, "Twenty-five-
million years in the making. Hard to beat that kind of engineering." 
EFTA00008206

Chapter 11 
Putting the Moves Together 
In This Chapter 
Setting up 
D Oil's well that ends well 
Massage rules 
I> The massage 
was recently watching an episode of the sitcom Friends on 1V, and one of 
the main themes of the show concerned the effects of massage on friend-
ships and relationships. The Monica character thought she gave a great 
backrub, but her boyfriend Chandler thought otherwise. The whole show 
centered on how he should break the bad news to her. 
We humans are sensitive creatures, and when we give something as personal 
as a massage to someone else, we're making ourselves vulnerable to his or her 
judgement. What if they don't like our technique? What if they don't like us? 
When you give of yourself through massage, it's natural to be afraid of what 
people may think and to wonder, secretly, if you're doing it right or if you're 
good enough. 
I think you should forget all about that stuff. Your massage abilities are not 
something to be proud of, or ashamed of. Your abilities are something you 
should share. 
As long as you tune in and become sensitive to your partner, you can give a 
good massage. The idea Is not to focus on being good, but to focus on doing 
good. 
If Monica had not been so proud in the beginning, she wouldn't have forced 
her own concept of what she thought was good onto her boyfriend, which set 
the stage for her to feel rejected and ashamed later. 
Be sensitive. Time in. Do good. If you do these things, you never have time to 
worry about whether you're good or not. As long as your heart Is into what 
you're doing, you're guaranteed to do it the right way. 
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162 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage 
Setting Up 
First, you need to go over Just a few preliminaries to make sure you're set up 
and ready to go. I assume that you've created a suitable inner chamber for 
your massage experience and that you've practiced a few moves from 
Chapter 10. You know what to do and what not to do, and now you just have 
to get yourself ready and do it. 
Table (or one? 
One thing you may notice is that the massage in this chapter is being given 
on the floor. It's pretty much guaranteed that you have a floor available some-
place to work on, right? But there's a good chance you don't have a massage 
table like the ones the pros use. For those of you not familiar with them, mas-
sage tables are oblong, folding, padded tables. Most of them have legs of 
adjustable height, like the one in Figure 11-1. These tables are great tools, and 
if you get serious about massage at some point, you may want to consider 
investing in one. New ones cost a few hundred dollars. 
Figure 11-1: 
Massage 
tables look 
like folding, 
adjustable-
height, 
oblong, 
upholstered 
card tables. 
. • 
° 
The floor can be quite a comfortable place to get a massage, especially if you 
add a few pillows, a sofa cushion or two, plus a sheet and towels, as you can 
see in Figure 11-2. 
EFTA00008208

 
Chapter 11: Putting the Moves Together 
/ 63 
Rgure11-t 
You can 
create a 
perfectly 
comfortable 
massage 
space on 
the floor. 
Many massages have been given on beds, but in those cases the massage 
often leads to other activities — like sleeping! That's right, it's very tempting 
for the giver to just roll over and lounge around instead of working like he 
should. When you do give a massage on a bed, arrange some towels near the 
foot or along one edge, so that you don't have to be up on the bed yourself 
the whole time you're giving the massage. 
Sheets, towels, and so on 
Don't use your best sheets and towels to do a massage on because the oils 
and creams can leave stains and a musty oil smell behind. Also, the color 
white seems to show off oil stains the most. Many spas use darker colored 
linens, like green or blue, for this reason. 
Other things you may want to have around include heating pads, blankets, 
bottle warmers, and other such comfort-creating devices. Nothing's worse 
than getting a massage and not being able to concentrate on how good it 
feels because you're shivering the whole time. 
*Mat  
It's also a good idea to have some extra pillows to use as bolsters for support 
beneath your partner. Massage pros use specially made bolsters, as men-
tioned in Chapter 8, but you can use normal pillows just as effectively. If you 
use one of your nice pillows, It's a good idea to cover it with a towel to keep It 
from getting stained by oil. 
EFTA00008209

164 Part 
The Art of Giving Massage 
Oit's Well That Ends Well 
Yes, it's true. Massage can be an oily endeavor. In fact, in some countries, 
such as India, oil plays a major part in the whole procedure, and about half 
way through a massage people in Delhi end up glistening with a layer of lubri-
cant. This is okay (as long as you have lots of towels around to sop up the 
extra oil afterwards). In fact, the Indian system prescribes large amounts of 
oil — usually sesame oil — on purpose for its lubricating and detoxifying 
effects. The common wisdom in most other countries, however, is that you 
should use just enough lubricant to, well, lubricate. 
This is how you best use oil during a massage: 
tNet 
1. First, choose the oil (see the sidebar later in this chapter). 
2. Second, make sure the oil is not cold. 
When you apply cold oil to your partner's skin, it may cause her to hit 
you or kick you, which is not desirable. The best way to warm the oil is 
to place the bottle in hot running water for a few minutes, or use a baby 
bottle warmer, until the oil is warm to the touch. Don't microwave the 
oil, which can potentially overheat it, causing an equally adverse reac-
tion from your partner. 
3. Cup one palm and pour a small amount of oil into it. 
Ideally, you want to keep the back of your cupped palm in contact with 
your partner so that you maintain a constant connection. The amount of 
oil depends on the size of the area you are massaging, the amount of 
body hair in the area, and the maneuvers you plan to use. You may have 
to experiment a few times to get the amount right. 
4. Rub your palms together for a few seconds to further warm the oil 
and then glide your hands over the skin, spreading a smooth layer of 
oil over the whole surface you are massaging. 
The correct amount is the amount that leaves the skin lubricated, but no 
puddles of oil or "greasy" spots. 
Getting creamed 
Skin creams and lotions area good alternative 
to oil, and in fact many profe...

 
Chapter 11: Putting the Moves Together 165 
Bottle placement 
There is an age-old feud that has gone on between massage therapists for 
decades over where to place the oil bottle during the massage. I know that 
this may seem silly to you, but you can rest assured that it's a debate taken 
very seriously by otherwise intelligent adults. There are basically two 
camps — those that propose placing the bottle next to the person, where it's 
handy but liable to get knocked over; and those that propose keeping the 
bottle out of harm's way, on the floor for example, where it's harder to reach 
but less likely to get kicked or spilled. Some people go as far as to keep their 
oil bottles in a specially made holster strung around their waist like a six-gun. 
This gives the average massage therapist a Wyatt Earp kind of look that is 
perhaps not ideal for inducing relaxation. 
Where should you put the bottle of oil during a massage? In my professional 
opinion, speaking as a massage therapist who's been working in the field for 
almost 20 years, it doesn't really matter. Whatever's most comfortable for 
you is best. 
The type of bottle (and especially the cap) does matter, though. You can 
make things much easier for yourself if you choose a squeeze-top type cap 
that pours a tiny bit of oil at a time. Pump tops work well, too. If you use a 
wide-mouth opening, chances are you may end up with oil all over the place, 
especially if you have your massage area dimly lit with candles. 
Your own oil blends 
t%futei. 
You can incorporate the concepts of aromatherapy into your massage by 
adding a few drops of essential oil to the oil you're already using, which is 
then called the carrier oil. Typical carrier oils include grapeseed, sweet 
almond, jojoba, avocado, and sesame, which are all good as a base for the 
essential oils. To make your own aromatherapy oil, blend two dozen drops of 
essential oil with 2 ounces of carrier oil. For added aromatherapy benefits, 
place a few d...

166 Part Ill: The Art of Giving Massage 
Table 11-1 (continued) 
Oil 
Properties 
Eucalyptus radiata 
Excellent for lungs, respiratory system. Muscle tonic. 
Geranium rose 
Balances the skin by affecting sebum. Balances emotions, too. 
Juniper 
Calming and purifying. 
Lavender 
Anti-bacterial (first-aid kit in a bottle), calming, good for skin. 
Lemon grass 
Stimulates digestion. Antiseptic, detoxifies lymph. Uplifting. 
Orange 
Mood elevator. 
Peppermint 
Stimulates alertness. Good for headaches, colds. 
Pine 
Pain killer. Natural deodorant. 
Rose 
Excellent for the skin. 
Rosemary 
Hair tonic. Astringent. Good for oily skin. 
Sandalwood 
Grounding and relaxing. Spiritually uplifting. Aids aging skin. 
Tea tree 
Antiseptic, antifungal, antibacterial. Good for the skin. 
Vetiver 
Grounding and calming. 
Wang ylang 
Aphrodisiac. Relieves tension/stress. Balances dry skin. 
The Rules (or Giving Massage 
Just as there were some rules for receiving, there are rules for giving, too. For 
the most part, these are things I've mentioned all along throughout the previ-
ous chapters, but it helps if you review them here, right before you actually 
begin giving a massage. 
I. Do no harm. This is the number one rule for giving a massage. Refer to 
Chapter 10 and make sure you're aware of the moves that you shouldn't 
make, the places that you shouldn't press, and the conditions you 
shouldn't treat. 
2. Think &D. Refer to Chapter 4 and try to visualize the physical struc-
tures beneath the skin that you're affecting with your hands during the 
massage. 
3. Use your whole body. Remember to use correct body mechanics (see 
Chapter 10) in order to save your own body from overexertion while 
applying just the right amount of pressure for your partner. 
A 
EFTA00008212

 
Chapter 11: Putting the Moves Together 767 
So many oils, so little time 
Walk into any bath and body shop or health food 
store and you see at least a dozen choices in 
massage oils. Which is the best one, you ask? 
Is it the special formula designed by the spiri-
tual healer Edgar Cayce who "received" the 
recipe while in a trance? Or is it the "mango 
tango" scented blend that your favorite bou-
tique down the street recently released? 
Several oils available straight from the shelf in 
your local grocery store are usable, if not ideal, 
for massage. Almond oil is used in spas around 
the world, and you can use sesame oil and olive 
oil, too. But the special oils formulated just for 
massage really are better. They have more nutri-
ents for the skin, and they create just the right 
amount of lubrication. In my opinion, it's worth 
the extra money you spend to get a high-quality 
massage oil. 
There are a few things you want to look for 
when choosing an oil: 
 Ingredients: Check the ingredients. A 
common addition to several oil blends, for 
example, is lanolin, which comes from art 
animal source and turns some people off. 
 Scent Make sure the scent is not overpow-
ering or synthetic. 
 Viscosity: Everyone has his or her own pref-
erence as far as the right viscosity goes. 
'Thin- oils, such as mineral oil, feel a little 
watery and spread unevenly. This is not 
recommended. "Thick" oils like coconut 
leave a "greasy" feeling. Test a little on your 
palm before buying to find an oil somewhere 
in the middle of this spectrum that works 
for you. 
4. Focus on the other. This is no time to be thinking about politics, sports, 
the weather, or your upcoming turn to receive. As fully as you can, focus 
on your partner, what she's feeling, and how you can make her feel 
better. 
5. Go out of your mind. After you figure out the moves, practice the tech-
nique, and focus on your partner with all your concentration, then you 
can stop thinking. That's right. Let go ...

168 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage 
The Massage 
Okay, here It is, the moment you've all been waiting for. You can only talk 
about it for so long without realizing that massage is not really about talking, 
it's about feeling. And as Bob Marley once said, "He who feels It, knows it." 
Soon, you are going to be sailing away toward hours of massage bliss. All you 
have to do to get started is follow these five easy steps: 
 Cleanliness first 
 Take your positions 
 Invocation 
 The force, Luke, remember the force 
 The first touch 
Cleanliness first 
You're all set up, the mood is right, the lights are low, and now, before you do 
anything else, there's one critical procedure you must follow before starting 
the massage —wash your hands! 
Good hands 
What does it mean to have "good hands?" It's the 
one quality that millions of massage lovers around 
the world use to describe the essence of an 
excellent massage therapist As in,"Oh,that was 
the best massage I ever had. You have got great 
hands." But, because that quality is so vague, it's 
a little difficult to reproduce or teach to someone 
else. Good hands? What does that mean? 
Having good hands, as it turns out, is not really 
about your hands. It's about YOU. It's the way 
you focus on your partner, the way you become 
sensitive to her, and the way you care. It's also 
about following some very simple guidelines, 
which I call the "rules for giving massage: You 
can find those rules right here in this chapter. 
Follow these simple principles, and you may 
even go beyond havinugood hands to having 
"great hands" one day. 
EFTA00008214

 
Chapter 11: Putting the Moves Together 169 
But do I have to cut my nails? 
Once I was hired to present a massage work-
shop at a huge annual convention of nail 
technicians (manicurists) in Detroit. I never 
knew so many manicurists existed before. 
Demonstrating some basic massage moves on 
the feet of one class member, I then told them to 
exchange similar moves. Soon, the room was 
filled with sounds of pain and discomfort. 
These women had nails an inch and a half long. 
Sharp nails. Some of them had holes drilled in 
the ends of their nails, and miniature charm 
bracelets dangled throughthem. It was impos-
sible for them to practice massage. 
If you have long nails, it's going to be awfully 
hard for you to give a good massage. One of the 
firstthings people are told when they sign up for 
massage school is to cut their nails, and you can 
often tell a massage pro by her extremely short 
and neatly trimmed nails. 
Does this mean you have to lop off your own 
dearly beloved nails in order to give a massage? 
Not necessarily. If your husband is the only 
person you're going to be massaging, and he 
likes it when you run your long nails down his 
back, don't worry about cutting them. You can 
improvise massage moves by using your palms 
and the bottoms of your fingers, keeping your 
nails lifted •up.out of the way. However, if your 
nails are long.andyour intention isto.get better 
at massage and perform all the moves 
described here to their fullest, you have some 
serious clipping to do in your near future. 
Washing cleanses away dirt and grime, and it also protects you and your 
partner from nasty bacteria. It's a good habit to get into. 
Take your positions 
To begin the massage, you and your partner both have to be in the right posi-
tions. In the routine shown in this chapter, you start with your partner lying 
on her back, and you sit up near her head. 
Some people are sticklers about this whole positioning issue, but I don't 
believe In starting every m...

70 Part III: The Art of Giving Massage 
Invocation 
You may recall that in Chapter 5, I describe a massage I received from Wesley, 
who's a native Hawaiian massage therapist and healer on the Big Island. What 
I didn't describe was the prayer Wesley used to begin the massage, sitting 
humbly on the floor beside me, melodiously intoning some words in 
Hawaiian: "Kou makou makua deka okalani." 
This invocation was meant to make both Wesley and me at one with the 
source of life. He learned it from his teacher, Auntie Margaret, and she in turn 
was taught it by her elders. 
Although you may feel a little funny at first, it may be appropriate for you to 
say a couple of words of invocation as you're about to start your massage. 
They don't have to be in Hawaiian; something simple is fine, such as, "I 
summon the powers of healing and wholeness to be with us during this mas-
sage." Just say them from your heart, and you get your message across. 
The Force, Luke, remember the Force 
Remember, you're not just dealing with a pile of flesh and bones here. Your 
partner is more than a series of points to be pushed and muscles to be 
kneaded. She has a magical inner spark, too. According to many massage 
philosophies, especially those from the East like Shiatsu, the body is filled with 
invisible pathways that are pulsing with this Inner energy, variously known as 
chi, ki, pram, universal-life-forte-enemy, and the-force-Luke-remember-the-force. 
You can give a better massage if you simply stop for a moment at the begin-
ning of the massage and focus on that force that exists within you and your 
partner. Remember the scenes from Star Wars when Luke was zeroing in on 
the Death Star using nothing but his intuition? The voice of his mentor was 
there in his head all along urging him to "remember the force." Tune Into 
your own inner guidance as you begin the massage, and you may surprise 
yourself with how well you do. 
The first touch 
This is the crucial moment, when all of y...

 
Chapter 11: Putting the Moves Together 177 
Reaching both hands down, place them gently and consciously on your part-
ner's back, as if you were touching a sleeping child and trying not to wake 
her. Put one up on the top of the spine near the head, and the other down by 
the base of the spine. Then Just touch for a moment, with no need to move. 
You can actually summon the "force, Luke," and say your invocation at this 
time, too. (See Figure 11-3.) 
Figure 11.3: 
After you 
summon the 
forces 
w thin, 
reach out 
and touch 
someone. 
Hold this position for a minute, with your hands on your partner's spine, 
simply communicating your presence and loving intentions. 
Then you can begin. 
Note: You may notice that I haven't included any stretches in this chapter. 
That's because I explain stretches in the sports massage section of Chapter 
16. This doesn't mean you can't use them during your full body massage, too, 
though. In fact, I highly recommend stretches. After you master some of the 
stretches, sprinkle them liberally throughout your massage for optimum effect. 
The back 
The back is a great place to begin a massage because many people equate 
massage with a "back rub." Although it looks large and solid, the back is actu-
ally prone to lots of little aches and pains, and much of the tension and 
everyday complaints people have can be found there. Thus the famous 
phrase, "Oh, my aching back." And finally, the back is the least vulnerable 
area to touch someone, psychologically speaking, so people are more likely 
to relax and "let you in" when you begin there. 
EFTA00008217

Part III: The Art of Giving Massage  
1. Without moving your hands from the position they're in, simply begin to 
rock your partner gently from side to side, by using the tailbone as a 
kind of handle for the heel of your hand. When you get good at it, you 
can extend your rocking maneuvers further up the back and down onto 
the buttocks and even the legs. The lc:Jetts to get a wave-like motion 
going through your partner's body so that she starts to melt into the 
floor. 
When you want to get someone out of the mood they were Just in, and 
into the mood of getting a massage, nothing beats rocking. 
2. People either love skin rolling, or they really don't, like it at all, so you 
have to experiment a little and ask your partner how it feels. Start by 
getting a grasp on the skin at the base of the neck between your thumb 
and your first two fingers, then "walk" this roll down the back, keeping it 
between your fingers the whole time. This takes-some practice, so start 
with a partner who doesn't mind playing guinea pig. 
3. Use your fingertips to "hook" into the muscles alongside the spine near 
the tailbone. Then start vibrating your hand while dragging it with 
medium pressure back up toward your partner's head, as in Figure 114a. 
Repeat this three times. 
4. This long gliding movement spreads oil and further warms up the entire 
area. See the section on oil earlier in this chapter for the proper oil-
spreading technique. Glide down with both hands on the muscles` on 
either side of the spine, with your fingers Eiointed in toward the middle. 
When you reach the base of the spine, swivAyour fingers toward the 
outside And glide back up as sho4rn.in Figure 11 
Repeat this gliding 
founQr five times, using light pressure at first andthen slightly firmer 
pressure. 
Ass 
5. When you reach the base of 074 spine. on thtfourth of fifth glide, stop 
and apply circular rubbing all•bverthe sackn, or tail bone, as shown in 
Figure 114c. You may notice that when your partner...

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